Rantings, Raves & Observations within the World of Pop Culture

TV 2012: Fresh shows, returning favorites

2011-12-29T17:57:00.016-05:00

We have reached the halfway mark in the 2011/12 tv season. For many shows this means cancellation, for other hiatus limbo hell and to fill in the time spot vacancies a fresh batch of new and returning programming to get us through winter. Here is a rundown of what to expect in the upcoming weeks and months ahead.

JANUARY
Jan 3rd
ABC/ Work It: with this recycled update of Bosom Buddies ABC is hoping to strike gold a second time with a pointless sitcom concept that really wasn't all that interesting the first time around (hence the reason Kip & Henry ditched the drag after the first season). Unfortunately this piece of crap has already sparked controversy amongst the transgender community with the shows flippant take on cross dressing/gender roles. A show about two laid off douchebags who devise a scheme to cross dress in order to scam their way into a job as career girls for a pharmaceutical company sounds excruciatingly boring, pass.

Jan 5th

Lifetime/ Project Runway Allstars: hoping to breathe new life into this aging series comes the first all star edition featuring the best talents from seasons past including the season 1 winner.

Jan 6th
Sci Fi/ Merlin: the king is dead ... long live the king. After 3 years of the tyrannical rule of King Pendragon (BTVS Giles), Arthur will finally ascend to the throne of Camelot and allow magic to once again flourish. 3 cheers to the little BBC sci fi series that could for sticking it out this long and to reach the point that we have all been waiting for.

Jan 8th
SHO/ Shameless: season 2 find the Gallagher's dealing with a new set of Frank's debauchery and new love interests for Fiona and Karen (Lonestar's James Wolk and sexpot Zach McGowan) and the arrival of Jenna Elfman.

SHO/ House of Lies: this dark comedy starring Kristin Bell and Don Cheadle follows the adventures of a consulting firm for fortune 500 companies capitalizing on how big business and the wealthy (aka the 1 percent) operate.

Jan 11th
NBC/ Are you there Chelsea?: the latest crap comedy from the peacock stars the incredibly irritating Chelsea Handler (from E network fame) who uses her observational sarcastic humor with BFF Chelsea (Lara Prepon that 70's show) to make sense of the world.

CW/ One Tree Hill: the 9th and thankfully FINAL season of this dead horse.

Jan 12th
CBS/ Rob: HOW DOES THIS GUY KEEP GETTING WORK? Rob Schneider is quite possibly the most dull, uninteresting, talentless hack personalities on the planet and yet he still keeps getting acting gigs, who is watching this stuff? The premise of this pile of shit revolves around his recent marriage into a latin family how he adjusts to the culture shock with a father in law (Cheech Marin) who despises him.

NBC/ 30 Rock: After an extended break which likely involved a cooling off period for the Tracy Morgan gay bashing tirade from last summer, this solid comedy on NBC Thursday night returns on the heals of a fresh new scandal involving Alec Baldwin and an IPad.

NBC/ Parks & Recreation: everyone's favorite underdog show is back and based on the new apocalyptic preparedness promo's will be funnier than ever.

NEW NBC/ The Firm: a sequel (in series form) to the Tom Cruise movie involving Mitch McDeere stumbling upon (or being pulled into) another corrupt law firm several years after the events in the movie took place. The show stars Josh Lucas as Mitch, Callum Keith Rennie (BSG's psycho cylon Leoban) as his brother Ray and Juliette Lewis.

NEW FOX/ The Finder: the Bones spin-off follows the adventures of a man named Walter Sherman who can find anything.

Jan 14th
NEW BBC-A/ The Fades: BBC's latest supernatural Saturday night series centers around Paul 17 year old outcast who is having apocalyptic dreams that start to become reality.

Jan 15th
NEW FOX/ Napoleon Dynamite: based on the cult classic this animated version continues the adventures of Napoleon and features the voice talents of the entire cast from the movie.

Jan 16th
NEW FOX/ Alcatraz: JJ Abrams latest latest supernatural series centers on the mysterious disappearance of the prison's most notorious inmates and their strange return 50 years later. The show stars Sam Neill and Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost) as investigators looking to discover the reason behind the supernatural return of the inmates.

Sci Fi/ Being Human: season 2 of the show that took the longest to warm up too last year returns with Sally discovering more of her ghostly abilities, Aidan coping with the leadership of the vampire clan and Josh expecting puppies.

NEW Sci Fi/ Lost Girl: taking advantage of the new supernatural realm that True Blood introduced comes this scripted series from the sci fi network (shocking) that revolves around a mysterious woman named Bo who learns that she is a succubus from the realm of the Fae and how she will need to decide if she's good or bad.

Jan 18th
USA/ Royal Pains: season 3.5 of Hank med and company return to finish out the summer season.

Jan 19th
FOX/ American Idol: the most worn out its welcome show on television returns for another coma inducing season of wannabe music stars who never really go anywhere. If a TV show could be considered a one hit wonder it would be any of the Idol winners from the past 5 years as their success and failure is wrapped up in about 6 months.

FX/ Archer: season 3 of the animated spy series returns with more drunken antics and archer blowing up stuff.

Jan 27th
Starz/ Spartacus-Vengeance: the 3rd incarnation of the series debuts with new spartacus Liam MacIntyre.

FEBRUARY
Feb 6th
NBC/ Smash: the peacock is looking to score a mature Glee audience with this series that involves the casting of a Broadway show. The cast is rather impressive including Angelica Huston, Debra Messing (will & grace), Katherine McPhee (american idol) and Uma Thurman (recurring) as the aging starlet.

NBC/The Voice: Adam Levine and company return to discover more talent that once again never really seems to go anywhere.

Feb 7th
ABC /The River: this supernatural series set in the amazon focuses on a families search for patriarch Emmett Cole a wildlife expert/tv personality who disappeared on a research expedition.

Feb 12th
AMC/ The Walking Dead: season 2.5 debuts to the fill the gap before Mad Men's return. Without the search for Sophia I'm not really sure where the show goes from here but one thing is certain, if they don't get off that goddamned farm by the second episode I am washing my hands of it!

MARCH
Mar 6th
NBC/ Fashion Star: yet another take on Project runway, this time in prime time with Elle MacPherson hosting.

Mar 11th
FOX/ Bob's Burgers: season 2 of the crudely drawn cartoon debuts.

Mar 15th
ABC/ Missing: this thriller drama revolves around a mother's (Ashley Judd) search for her teenage son who disappears a few weeks after his arrival in Europe and her suspicion that his disappearance is connected to her deceased CIA agent husband's (Game of Thrones Sean Bean) murder a decade earlier.

Mar 25th
AMC/ Mad Men: after an extended hiatus the show finally returns.

APRIL
HBO/ Game of Thrones: the most popular show on premium cable makes its sophomore season return with the material covering A Clash of Kings, dragons and a whole bunch of new characters.

SHO/ The Borgias: hopefully season two will bring the one dimensional characters from the first year to life and rely less on sex to sell the show on more on better scripts and performances from the cast.

Immortals: a review

2011-11-14T00:40:00.011-05:00

Seal the Gates and Prepare for BOREDOM, that should have been rallying cry as Immortals for all that its guts and glory ad campaign promised, failed to live up to expectations and the hype that was promised. With a run time of almost two coma inducing hours the film ran at a tediously slow pace, revolved around a nonsensical plot with holes big enough to push Tartaras through, was miscast with several actors (Stephen Dorff really?), contained entirely to much cheesy dialogue, abused the green screen (c'mon you couldn't have filmed ANY scenes in the real world?) and recycled far to much footage in particular that city built into the side of the cliff was the focus of at least 40 min of the movie.

The film bore no resemblance to the movie it was touted to be like (300) nor did it live up to the standards set by Clash of the Titans (the bar was pretty low there). For all the things that went wrong there were some bright spots along the way including (and I will kick myself for saying this) the 3D being awesome, fantastical fight sequences and a subplot involving the Olympian Gods that was far more interesting than any of the plot involving Theseus.

Rather than go into excruciating detail, I will break down the main points:

Theseus/Henry Cavill: This was Henry's big US (if not world) debut in preparation for the role of a lifetime next year when he dons the Superman cape; unfortunately he came in for a soft landing that failed to live up to expectations. It's not that his acting skills were lacking, as the dialogue written for him was utter crap, it was just that the execution of said lines in particular his scene where he attempts to rally the troops was cringe worthy at best. It is unfortunate because I have followed this man's career for years and have always hoped that he would do more than just British television. Based on this performance, I do not believe that he is capable of being a leading man in a one man show and I fear that The Man of Steel could be a bust. Stranger things have happened though, I mean who could have imagined that Christian Bale or Heath Ledger could so brilliantly execute their roles in Batman?

King Hyperion/Mickey Rourke: first of all the writing team completely glossed over the mythology for this character since Hyperion was himself a Titan; why they didn't use another ancient lore king like Midas as the films protagonist is beyond me. Mickey Rourke brings his worst accent (if not embodying Whiplash from Iron Man 3) as the mad king whose one and only goal in life is to free the titans from their imprisonment,so that they can destroy the Olympians. For all its worth Rourke was not that bad and did a decent job with the material he had to work with, however his take on the villain was over the top and at times very redundant.

Stavros/Stephen Dorff: for the love of god why was he cast in this movie? Seriously everything about Theseus's side kick -thief -turned -hero was pointless, added nothing to the plot and Dorff's channeling of Kiefer Sutherland (his voice mostly) irritated the living shit out of me.

The Olympians/ Zeus/Luke Evans: Since when did the King of the Gods become a washboard abs, 30 something hard body with ridiculously hot 20 something siblings (Kellan Lutz/Poseidon, Daniel Sharman/Aries, Steve Byers/Heracles) & children (Isabel Lucas/Athena, Cory Sevier/Apollo)? I do not understand why the Olympians and their war amongst each other if not the already released titans was not the focus of the film. It is beyond maddening that these artfully inspired well executed characters were not the main focus as everything about them was visually stunning. Each sequence (and there were so few) were the only things that kept me holding on to the notion that the movie was going to get better with that wow factor. When Poseidon ascended from the heavens into the ocean .. awesome.

When Aries arrived to save Theseus by cracking skulls with his hammer .. wow! Then Zeus immolates Aries for violating the law with the fire whip .. incredible. Out of all the performances in the movie, Luke Evans was by in large the best character in the epic and given his lead role in the upcoming Hobbit prequels as Bard the Bowman I expect he will be taking the US by storm, the same way that Orlando Bloom came and went.

Hot or Not: Teddy Sears

2011-10-28T00:17:00.007-04:00

If Alexander Skarsgard has a doppelganger it could very well be the latest edition to the hot or not column in Teddy Sears. Teddy's recent role on American Horror Story as one half of "the lovely gay couple" who owned the haunted house before Ben & company moved in, immediately peaked my interest due mostly to his uncanny resemblance to my beloved Alskar, especially with that wispy hair (think TBS3 Eric hair) that he had going on.

The 33 year old DC native most recently appeared as the "blue eyed man" in Starz Torchwood: Miracle Day, on CBS's short lived The Defenders as well as appearing in the movie A Single Man with Colin Firth. Blond hair, blue eyes, 6 foot something with abs all wrapped up in one hot package, yum!

Time to vote: Hot or Not.

The Hotties of Fall 2011

2011-09-19T01:54:00.031-04:00

This years selection of man candy includes a few familiar faces from seasons past and a slew of male models hoping that their good lucks can translate into stardom. Unfortunately for them pretty does not always equal talent. Ready to dip your hand into the man candy jar and find your favorite? Let's begin.

Pan Am - Mike Vogel. Former fashion model turned actor, Vogel has had a modest career in films including roles in The Sister of the Traveling Pants playing Blake Lively's (Gossip Girl) love interest, the brother who died on the Brooklyn Bridge escaping from the Cloverfield alien and most recently as Michelle Williams baby-daddy in Blue Valentine.

A Gifted Man - Patrick Wilson. Wilson started his career on Broadway, went mainstream in the miniseries Angels in America, took to the big screen in Phantom of the Opera/Watchmen and finally lands his own TV series on CBS.

Bedlam - Theo James. British thespian and Oxford graduate Theo is ready to take America by storm, first up his BBC-A horror series Bedlam, followed by a leading role in Underworld 4.

Once Upon a Time - Jamie Dornan. Irish born actor (he had a role in Marie Antoinette) - turned musician - turned high fashion underwear model - turned actor (again) arrives in America with a role on ABC's most hyped series of the fall.

The X-Factor - Stephen (Steven) Jones. This Welsh hottie and former fashion model turned UK presenter for any number of shows, jumps across the pond in the coveted spot that unfortunately made Ryan Sechrest a household name. Sadly that leap onto American television has come at a price as Stephen is now Steven and his gayness has now become bi-sexual soon to be straight with a beard. Fortunately for him Kate Bosworth is available.

American Horror Story - Dylan McDermott. Yes he's aging, but damn he has done it so well. Dylan who is no stranger to series television (Ally McBeal, The Practice) is hoping to score a hit with FX's first horror series after his recent failures (Big Shots/Dark Blue).

2 Broke Girls - Noah Mills. High fashion model and ... well high fashion model made his acting career debut in Sex & the City 2 playing Kim Cattrall's latest score. The pretty boy will be making his television debut on what will likely be CBS's first cancelled series.

Secret Circle - Gale Harold. Queer as Folk's resident bad boy is attempting yet another career resurrection after being killed off Fox's short-lived Vanished for being a drama queen, making a brief stop on Wysteria Lane a couple years ago and committing career suicide on last year's miserable failure Hellcats. Fortunately for him the CW is a bit more forgiving than other networks.

90210- Justin Deeley. Undergear model Deeley joins season 4 of 90210 as Naomi's latest love interest Austin playing handyman "Jake" to her "Kelly".

Once Upon a Time- Josh Dallas. As a bit player on television, Dallas received the call of his lifetime last year when Stuart Townsend dropped out at the last second as Fandral in Thor and the studio needed a body to fit the armor. Fortunately for Dallas ABC's acquisition of Marvel gave him the advantage and landed him the lead in ABC's fairytale series as none other than Prince Charming himself.

Grimm - David Giuntoli. Former MTV reality star (Road Rules-South Pacific), Giuntoli is hoping to make a splash in prime time after having guest spots on a variety of TV shows and a failed music career.

Robbie Amell - Revenge. This canuck best known from his role on Nickelodeon's True Jackson VP, comes to prime time in ABC's most under-hyped new series Revenge.

Gossip Girl - Marc Menard. Former AMC heart throb Boyd Larraby who had a brief role in prime time on the failed MyNetwork soap Watch Over Me has landed a recurring role on the aging Gossip Girl as of all things a priest (seriously?).

Fall 2011: The Newbies

2011-09-04T22:35:00.036-04:00

Here it is my annual rant of the shows that I think are buzzworthy, those that are utter crap and those that are obviously omitted (like Tim Allen's new show) since they would never be worth my time.

Monday

Terra Nova (FOX): The most expensive and delayed (it was supposed to debut in 2010) new show on television is essentially Jurassic Park meets Dinotopia. Jason O'Mara (Life on Mars) stars as a father who decides to pack up and leave a decimated earth in the year 2149. Through the miracle of future world technology, the family travels back in time through a rip in the space time continuum to prehistoric earth which has been colonized by scientists. If the lack of buzz at Comic Con is any indication, this one is destined to be one of the seasons first failures. With the special effects looking sub par even by today's TV standards, the lack of star power and only a 13 episode commitment from FOX this one appears doomed to fail.

Final Thought: cancellation before the series runs it course, when FOX wants to kill a show, they do it quickly. Anyone remember Lone Star?

The Playboy Club (NBC): Eddie Cibrian stars as the manager of the very first playboy club, in this retro series that is looking to jump on the Mad Men bandwagon (albeit 3 years too late). Set in 1963 the show is going for every gimmick in the book as the bunnies will interact with gangsters, politicians and features current pop stars portraying singers from the era. Unfortunately, any show that casts Cibrian is set for failure (he has a proven track record of ruining a series) and the premise has already been under attack by feminists and religious groups before it has even debuted.

Final thought: I am doubtful this will make it past episode 3, weak premise and Eddie Cibrian are the catalysts for its destruction.

Two Broke Girls (CBS): familiar premise with one tough girl from Brooklyn and one former UES princess thrown together as waitresses in a NYC dive restaurant and through their opposite and distinct life differences become the best of friends. While the previous statement may seem a bit snide the commercial looks like it could be kind of a fun show particularly since it stars Kat Dennings (Nick and Norah's playlist).

Final Thought: it's kind of quirky and could find itself an audience with the burned out Gossip Girl audience, I'll check it out.

The A List-Dallas (logo): a new set of bitchiness with a side of Texas, can't wait!

Final Thought: don't really need to add anything here as Bravo scored with the NYC version in its first season, although year 2 is kind of dragging.

Tuesday

Ringer (CW): after an 8yr hiatus SMG returns to series television on the same network (CW IS the WB) and in the exact same time slot that Buffy occupied. In this series she plays Bridgit Cafferty a recovering alcoholic who after witnessing a mob hit goes on the run to NY where she asks her identical twin Siobhan for help. The plot thickens when the two go boating on Siobhan's yacht and sis vanishes overboard. Bridgit decides that instead of continuing to run she will take over Siobhan's life only to discover that her twins fairytale existence comes with its own price. While the premise does seem a bit messy, there are very few thriller's on TV these days and the buzz at Comic Con was very positive. The supporting cast is a strange but interesting mix of people including Welsh actor Ioan Gruffudd (Mr. Fantastic) and Nestor Carbonell (Richard Alpert/Lost)

Final Thought: while the concept seems a bit convoluted, it looks like it will be a hit for the CW and I'll definitely be tuning in.

New Girl (FOX): the effervescently irritating Zooey Deschanel who has guest spotted on practically everything in the last decade finally gets her own show portraying a quirky school teacher who moves in with 3 guys after a messy breakup. Judging by the amount of coverage FOX is giving this one (seriously enough with the promos) it would appear that they have little faith in its success. This show neither looks fresh nor funny and in fact seems to be trying way to hard at emulating the vibe that Dharma and Greg set many moons ago.

Final Thought: as much as I would like to like Zooey I find her a bit grating on the nerves. I MIGHT give the pilot a shot, however I am doubtful that this one will be around that long.

Wednesday

The X-Factor (FOX): yep this one is basically American Idol meets America's Got Talent sponsored by Pepsi not Coke. Airing in the UK since 2004, Factor finally jumps the pond with series creator Simon Cowell reuniting with Paula and members of the British version. What distinguishes this show from Idol is that it operates on sort of a new premise with the hosts mentoring the contestants, the grand prize being a hefty sum of cash and the contestants being comprised of musical groups and solo singers.

Final Thought: unless it feels to much like American Idol, I'm in for the season.

Up All Night (NBC): why oh why do they keep wasting Will Arnett on these sub par shows (he has the perfect role already lined up for himself when Alec Baldwin departs 30 Rock this year) and why does anyone give Christina "Kelly Bundy" Applegate work (she's not funny)? Either way NBC decided that they needed to crank out yet another shitty comedy. This one involves a working mom, newborn baby and stay at home dad and has already gone through substantial changes since the pilot with Maya Rudolph's role bumping up and a shift in focus on Applegate's job.

Final Thought: this one looks like it will be DOA by November, bad comedies are bad comedies period.

American Horror Story (FX): family moves into a mysterious (okay haunted) old house in an attempt to escape their personal demons only to discover that the personal ones are the least of their worries. Stars Dylan McDermott, Connie Britton (Friday night lights), Jessica Lange (King Kong) and True Blood's vampire king Denis O'Hare.

Final Thought: from the previews that I've seen, this one looks very disturbing and somewhat scary. I don't recall seeing or hearing anything about this show at Comic Con, weird.

Thursday

Charlies Angels (ABC): once upon a time there were 3 women (no longer little girls), who did not go to the police academy (well one did but she was a dirty cop), that lived in Miami (what no love for LA?), worked for a mysterious voice on the phone named Charlie (briefly played by Robert Wagner who was strangely fired) and report to a handler named Bosley a hot latin man (Ramon Rodriguez). So the remakes continue and while it worked out well for Hawaii Five-O, it may not work so well for this one especially since the cast is unknown and they have skewed too far from the original premise; since when are the girls not cops named Jill, Sabrina & Kelly, Bosley is a hot Papi and why is the show no longer in L.A.?The reason 5-0 succeeded was that it WAS a remake set in the same location, featuring the same characters and cast with familiar faces! To date no word on who will be voicing Charlie.

Final Thought: want to love this one, but with it being so far off the mark from the original series and having Drew Barrymore who failed miserably with those movie remakes producing, the shelf life of this one could expire by December.

Person of Interest (CBS): so another year another season of doomed to fail television is being delivered from the JJ abrams crap factory. This one stars Michael Emerson (Ben/Lost) as a billionaire who recruits a former cia agent Jesus Christ err Jim Caviziel to help catch violent criminals vigilante style.

Final Thought: looks bland and downright dull, while people adored Emerson on Lost he no longer is playing that evil character and Caviziel has little if any credibility in a leading role. I predict cancellation by November.

Secret Circle (CW): this updated version of charmed (well not exactly but it is about witches and IS on the same network) is based on a 3 book series from vampire diaries creator LJ Smith and brought to life by Kevin Williamson (seriously dude its time to quit with the teen angst shit). The premise centers on a girl named Cassie who moves from California to live with her grandmother in the town of New Salem (really?), falls for a cute boy named Adam and quickly learns that she is a witch, from fellow teen wiccans that can apparently feel her witchy energy. The cast is a virtual who's heard of any of these people, although Thomas Dekker (Adam) did play teen John Connor in Fox's short lived Terminator series and Queer As Folks Gale Harold returns to TV as (not so surprisingly) the villain of the piece.

Final Thought: for the first time in the past decade I will be passing on a supernatural show on the WB. There is nothing remotely interesting here and frankly after a summer of True Blood wiccans and 8 years with the Charmed girls I am burnt out on witches. Sadly its on the CW and with it leading in the Vampire Diaries, the tweens will be flocking to it.

Whitney (NBC): this one kind of looks like it is the peacock's version of New Girl and also looks equally as irritating. Starring some comedian that I've never heard of Whitney Cummings from Chelsea Lately fame and Chis D'Ella from last years short lived Glory Daze, the show follows a couple looking to keep their relationship going without being married. Doomed for failure (the premise is exceptionally weak) and thrown in on NBC's comedy Thursday don't bode well for the show even with the addition of Jane Kaczmarek (Malcolm in the Middle) as her mom.

Final Thought: looks bad but I'll give it a try, however with no star power behind it I predict failure by Thanksgiving.

Prime Suspect (NBC): based on a British miniseries that starred Helen Mirren, the US adaptation follows a tough as nails female detective (Maria Bello) who has just transferred into a male dominated NYC police precinct and proves that she can be as hard as the guys can.

Final Thought: don't really have an interest here.

Beavis & Butthead (MTV): gone are the music videos, back are the stoners dishing on bad TV such as Jersey shore.

Final Thought: not exactly a new show and I am not really sure why they resurrected it, but the boys are back in town. I might check it out .... but doubt it.

Friday

A Gifted Man (CBS): the latest incarnation of medium brings sexy Patrick Wilson (Watchmen) to tv as a pompous surgeon who gets advice from his recently deceased wife on how to become a better man. The pilot was directed by Jonathan Demme (first time doing television) and while the premise seems awfully familiar it may find an audience in the friday night dead zone.

Final Thought: I love me some Patrick Wilson, but I'm kind of over talking to the dead series.

Grimm (NBC): a cop drama based on (you guessed it) the Grimm fairy tales revolves around a pair of detectives who soon realize that the fairy tales are coming true. David Guintolli stars as the Portland cop who must protect the world from the sinister creatures along with Silas Mitchell (prison break) and Sasha Roiz (Caprica).

Final Thought: looks like the poor man's version of once upon a time, but I'll give it a shot on DVR. Sadly it's in NBC's friday night death slot so I'm holding out little if any hope that it will succeed.

Saturday

Bedlam (BBC-A): a hot guy (who happens to be a medium) moves into a new apartment building that his step sister runs with her best friend (Will Young the first UK Pop Idol) only to learn that it is a former insane asylum haunted by the tortured patients.

Final Thought: For once I have first hand knowledge of a new show, as I caught the pilot at Comic Con and sadly even with the gorgeous Theo James doing a panel afterward, I was not impressed.

Sunday

Once upon a time (ABC): a 10 year old boy arrives on a woman's doorstep one night claiming to be the child that she gave up for adoption years ago and further states that he believes her to be the daughter of Prince Charming and Snow White. After this initial awkward encounter she offers to take him back home to a town called Storybrooke where we learn that its citizens are fairy tale characters that have no memory of their former existence (clearly an evil witches curse). The premise is a bit thin, but the show is on the Disney channel err ABC and was created by several Lost writers, so it definitely has some things going for it.

Final Thought: confusing if not down right silly concept, but after seeing the extended trailer in front of Harry Potter this summer it looks like it could be really fun. With a time slot on sunday nights it harkens back to my childhood when the Wonderful world of Disney was on.

Pan Am (ABC): yet another show seeking the Mad Men audience, this one follows the antics of a group of stewardesses and pilots in the swinging 60's. The cast includes Chirstina Ricci in her first tv series, Goran Visnjic (ER), Mike Vogel (Cloverfield) and Kelli Garner.

Final Thought: love the idea of this show but not sure how they can make a series that people can follow about the airline industry. I suspect cancellation by year's end.

Midseason

Alcatraz (FOX): JJ Abrams next debacle starring ex lost alum Hurley (Jorge Garcia) who is working with the FBI, to unravel the mysterious arrival of 300 prisoners and guards from Alcatraz prison who re-appear in 2011 after disappearing 30 years ago.

Apartment 23 (ABC): girl moves to NYC and ends up with the roommate from hell who is dating none other than the Beek from the creek!

The River (ABC): a supernatural thriller involving a family searching for their father (Bruce Greenwood) who has gone missing in the Amazon, in other words think Lost meets the rainforest.

The Firm (NBC): based on the tom cruise film, the series picks up 10 years after the events from the movie. Mitch Deere (played by Josh Lucas) and his family are living in Washington DC under the witness protection program. The cast includes Juliette Lewis and a mini BSG cylon reunion with Tricia Helfer (six) and Callum Keith Rennie.

Awake (NBC): Jason "Lucius Malfoy" Isaacs stars as a cop who after a fatal car accident finds himself living in two alternate realities one in which his wife has survived the other in which his son lives.

The Finder (FOX): a bones spin-off based on the "Locator books" by Richard Greener follows a military cop who can find anything. Hottie Geoff Stults stars along with Saffron Burrows and Michael Clarke Duncan.

Good Christian Belles (ABC): based on the book by the same name this series follows a mean girl (Leslie Bibb-Popular) who returns home to Dallas after her divorce and tries to seek validation from the girls she tortured in high school. Supporting cast includes Annie Potts and Kristin Chenowith.

Napoleon Dynamite (FOX): the further adventures in cartoon form of napoleon, pedro and the rest voiced by the original cast.

Work It (ABC): a bastardized version of Bosom Buddies featuring 2 used car salesmen dressing as women in order to land jobs as pharmaceutical reps. If this one actually makes it to the pilot airing, I would be surprised.

Fashion Star (NBC): the peacocks version of Project Runway from the original creators of that show launch the format in primetime. Judges include Jessica Simpson and Nicole Richie with Elle Macpherson hosting.

Hot or Not: Pablo Schreiber

2011-08-25T21:07:00.003-04:00

Since I haven't done one of these in ages I thought that it was about time for a new guy to place on the chopping block. Presenting Pablo Schreiber (Liev's half brother) who currently is smoldering up season 6 of Weeds as Nancy's Russian boy toy Demetri. Chances are that you have seen the 6'5" 33 year old actor as his varied resume includes appearance on broadway, roles in the films (Lords of Dogtown, Manchurian Candidate, Vicki Christina Barcelona) or in his many appearances on television including FX's short lived Lights Out as Johnny the boxer or Nick from The Wire.

Time to cast your vote: Hot or Not?

Summer TV 2011- the veterans

2011-05-24T17:23:00.030-04:00

NOW
Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo)- the third season arrives with the departure of everyone's most hated housewife coke whore Danielle, debuts a slimmed down Caroline and marks the debut of two new broads Melissa (Teresa's sister in law) and psycho bitch cousin Kathy .

JUNE
June 6th
Master Chef (FOX)- Gordon Ramsey's reality competition pitting real chefs against each other returns for a second season.

June 7th
White Collar (USA)- I really wished I had caught this show from the beginning as Matthew Bomer is a major hottie, but I'm already two seasons behind and it seems rather pointless to try and catch up at this point.

June 10th
Covert Affairs (USA)- Piper Perabo returns for a second season of last summer's hit (I guess) cable series about a pretty girl spy. Sadly even with Christopher Gorham all grown up and sexy on the show it didn't look all that interesting last year and still doesn't look all that interesting now, so I'll pass.

June 14th
Memphis Beat (TNT) for some reason I thought that Jason Lee's post Earl gig as an Elvis impersonating cop had been cancelled, turns out I was wrong.

June 18th
Battlestar Galactica (BBC-A)- okay pipe down its not a return (per say), but the first syndication run for the once best show on television. Even though I own the entire series for some reason I feel compelled to watch it on TV again.

The In-betweeners (BBC-A)- Season 3 debuts and unless there is a season 1&2 marathon on before this one begins, I probably will not be watching.

June 23rd
Futurama (Comedy Central)- the good news is that Bender and friends return for a 13 episode run this summer, but the better news is that Futurama will be back for the summers of 2012 & 2013.

Burn Notice (USA)- have to confess that the premise was starting to wear thin for me last summer as I skipped the entire back half of season 4 when it launched in January. If the show hasn't rid itself of fourth wheel Jessie, I'm going to officially consider it to be D2M.

Rookie Blue (ABC)-the only survivor of the 2010 ABC summer lineup is back for a second season run.

June 26th
True Blood (HBO)- the best show on summer television returns for a 4th season.

June 27th
Weeds (SHO)- when we last saw Nancy she was being hauled off by the feds after helping them capture drug cartel leader/husband Esteban, Andy and the kids jetted off to Ireland and Celia bid farewell to the show. Weeds eighth season officially makes it the longest running series on premium cable.

June 29th
Royal Pains (USA)- Hank and Evan were kicked out of the mansion, Divya got married relocating to London, and the Fonz err Papa Lawson went on the lamb. So what's in store for our friends in the Hamptons? Well for starters Ed Asner joins the show as Grampa Lawson.

JULY
July 7th
Big Brother (CBS)- how is this show still on TV? Oh yeah it's super cheap and absolves the network from coming up with anything else creative for the summer.

July 8th
Torchwood (starz)- the show starts its 4th season run on premium cable with Captain Jack and Gwen coming to America and hooking up with a couple of CIA agents.

July 11th
Eureka (Sci Fi)- gave up on this show after the first year but it still apparently delights fans every summer, which is fine by me since it is one of the few remaining scripted science fiction shows left on the SyFy variety channel.

Warehouse 13 (Sci Fi)- Now that Myka has seemingly left the Warehouse for good, Aaron Ashmore (Smallville's Jimmy Oleson) joins the show as a new agent recruited by Ms. Frederik for his psychic abilities. A spin-off series is in the works that will star last years villainous H.G. Wells.

July 11th
The Closer (TNT)- the beginning of the end for Kyra Sedgwick runs for 10 episodes, followed by 5 in December and the remaining next summer, what kind of programming crap is this? Joining the series is BSG alum Mary McDonnell who is set to take on her own spin-off series once this one wraps.

July 12th
Rescue Me (FX)- the final season of Dennis Leary's fire fighter show begins.

July 13th
Damages (DirecTV)- rescued from cancellation, this Glenn Close drama will now play out its fifth AND sixth seasons on satellite TV. So unless you are a Direct TV subscriber you're pretty much shit out of luck, but a syndication run is likely.

July 15th
Haven (sci Fi)- Last years incredibly dull series returns for a second season that will include Jason Priestly as a recurring character and feature more supernatural elements from Stephen King's other works.

July 17th
Breaking Bad (AMC)- the meth making shop teacher returns for a fourth season.

July 19th
Hells Kitchen (Fox)- the next batch of donkeys arrive in the kitchen along with the much missed Belgian blunder Jean Phillipe!

July 24th
Entourage (HBO)- the show wraps with a final 8 episode run.

July 25th
The A-List NYC (Logo)- the drama queens return for a second season of schmoozing, boozing, undressing and name dropping bitchiness .... I can't wait!

Summer TV 2011- the newbies

2011-05-24T14:00:00.015-04:00

Summer's here and so are the new series that will hopefully entertain us the 3 months that we must wait until our favorite shows return in the fall, here's a look at this years new entries and their launch dates.

MAY
May 30th
Platinum Hit(BRAVO)- Jewel and that other girl from American Idol host yet another American Idol rip off show. The twist with this one comes from the competition being a songwriting contest however in order to win and advance through you must be able to sing your own creation. Really Jewel hosting a show ... I can't think of a more sullen individual to host a show on Bravo ... oh wait Nikki Taylor was pretty bad on Make Me a Supermodel (sigh) how I miss that show :(.

May 31st
Million Dollar Decorator (BRAVO)- clearly the network is scrapping the barrel with programming here as this one follows a group of luxury decorators and their uber rich clients. Sounds incredibly boring but I do find it enticing to see how tacky America's elite decorate their mansions with gaudy gold fixtures, frilly draperies and animal prints.

JUNE

June 1st
Franklin and Bash (TNT)- Breckin Meyer and Mark Paul Gosselaar star in another show about ambulance chasing bumbling lawyers tyring to serve up some comedic justice. Sounds an awful lot like the now defunct Jerry O'Connell crap fest The Defenders and yet I do love me some Breckin Meyer so I'll likely be tuning in.

The World according to Paris (Oxygen)- not content too let her aunts upstage her on RHOBH, skank Hilton returns to television along her with mommy Kathy in a show that follows the trials and tribulations of her stupid - spoiled - whore lifestyle. I may try to catch this on a weekend marathon, but otherwise I suggest avoiding it.

June 6th
House Hunters on Vacation (HGTV)- not really sure why this franchise needs to stretch themselves so thin but here it is. In this third incarnation a family is sent to look at 3 vacation homes and decide which one they want to spend their vacation at. I love the HH concept and likely will be watching.

June 12th
The Glee Project (oxygen)- a reality show where hopefuls audition to be on Glee not really sure if the goal is to become a series regular or background player but it sounds incredibly L-A-M-E.

June 13th
Teen Wolf (MTV)- a series based on Michael J Fox's hideous 80's movie, however instead of a car surfin - basketball playing - comedic wolf he's more of a twilight conflicted - morose - lacrosse playing teenage werewolf. Other than a certain individual who shall remain nameless that still clings to MTV programming, is anyone going to watch this?

June 14th
The Nine lives of Chloe King (ABC Family)- basically a re-hash of BTVS, but instead of supernatural creatures the girl fights off assassins. Hmmm sounds more like a re-hash of Alias. Yawn.

June 15th
Jon Benjamin has a Van (Comedy Central)- a series in the vain of the onion news network where a fake news magazine travels around the US interviewing people about fake news stories. While the name may not be familiar I'm sure you will recognize the voice as H. Jon Benjamin is the voice of FX's Archer and Fox's Bob's Burgers.

June 18th
Outcasts (BBC-A)- a cross between Firefly and Earth 2 where a group of colonists have left a decimated earth to start over again. The series stars Eric Mabius (ugly betty) and Jamie Bamber (BSG) although I've heard that he is killed off in the pilot. When I first heard about this one I was very excited about the project, however with Jamie Bamber not being a regular and the show already being cancelled I'm not really sure if it's worth the investment.

June 19th
Falling Skies (TNT)- another TV show trying to launch itself as the next big sci fi thing involving another alien invasion, haven't we already been there done that with V? The series marks the return of Noah Wylie to series and television and also features Moon Bloodgood from Terminator Salvation. The trailers looks pretty good, but that's a lot of special effects to keep with on a weekly basis. Fortunately it's not on network and if the numbers are good it has a fighting chance for survival.

Ryan and Tatum: The O'Neals (OWN)- the floundering Oprah network is looking to score with an original series following the antics of this dysfunctional family. Does anyone watch anything on the Oprah channel?

June 22nd
Rocco's Dinner Party (Bravo)- douchebag celebrity chef wannabe Rocco Dispirito returns to series television in this re-hash of a BBC series where chef's are invited to make dinner for him and his friends to advance in the competition. Yawn.

June 23rd
Wilfred (FX)- Frodo Baggins err Elijah Wood stars in this dark comedy about a guy who gets advice on how to conduct his life from a hallucination in which he sees his neighbor's dog as a man dressed in a dog costume. Based on an Australian show with the same concept it sounds more like Jimmy Stewarts film Harvey. This actually looks pretty cute and I love Elijah Wood, quirkiness is definitely worth tuning in.

Suits (USA)- another show about lawyers starring the spirit Gabriel Macht as a high powered NYC lawyer who recruits an idiot savant college dropout into the firm. Also stars Gina Torres (Firefly, Angel). USA's summer series over the past few years have been pretty big hits, plus having two hotties, one fanboy favorite (torres) and paired with Royal Pains on Thursday nights, I'm sold.

JULY
July 11th
Alphas (Sci Fi)- looking to launch itself on the back of this summers X-Men origins and hoping that people have forgotten about the disaster Heroes turned out to be, this latest superhuman series hopes to find an audience of geeks on cable. Sounds incredibly predictable but I'll give it a shot.

Priest: a review

2011-05-20T12:58:00.010-04:00

Take one alternate reality in which humans and vampires (not the sexy True Blood/Vampire Diaries ones but savage creatures that survive on raw instinct), mix in an apocalyptic war between the two that forced humans to live in vast cities ruled under the iron fist of the church, add supernatural warriors trained by the church to defeat the creatures and you have Priest the latest film adaptation of a graphic novel set upon a geeky fan base.

Paul Bettany (who since the Da Vinci code has carved a niche for himself by playing pale supernatural characters) stars as the rogue priest who defies the church when his brother and wife (?) are murdered and his daughter Lucy is taken by a pack of rogue vampires led by the mysterious man in a black hat (Star Trek's Karl Urban) a former Priest, that through a botched hive extermination becomes the first vampire human hybrid. Cam Gigandent (all grown up and seemingly has taken some acting classes) is sheriff Hicks Lucy's boyfriend who joins the priest on the quest and Maggie Q (Nikita) as priestess sent to bring the Priest back for judgment. Also making brief cameos are True Blood's Bill Stephen Moyer as Owen Pace the Priest's brother (though he looked and sounded more like civil war Bill), horror ghoul Brad Dourif, and Christopher Plummer as the pompous power hungry monsignor Orelas.

What the movie lacks in a feasible plot, it makes up for with quick paced action, fantastical fight sequences and great special effects; although the gray/blue world was distracting and I found nothing about the movie that would have been improved had I seen it in 3-D. All in all while not a glowing recommendation I found it entertaining and if you are a fan of the genre, a reader of graphic novels or like the actors involved, it's worth the price of a matinee.

Summer 2011 at the movies: part two

2011-04-28T19:40:00.040-04:00

July 1st
Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon
Considering that I skipped Revenge of the Fallen at the theater what on earth would possess me to see another sequel in this series, the short answer nothing. While the film is Megan Fox-less (which is a good thing), Shia LaBeouf has become a tiresome leading man, the alien robot war story has worn thin and how is it that Josh Duhamel is still involved in Sam's life? On the upside the film will likely be really freakin' cool in 3-D and the main villain is a new bad ass cylon looking transformer named Shockwave.

Overall D. With an admission by Bay that the second movie was a piece of crap and the incredibly talentless Megan Fox is no longer associated with the series, it does have a chance of redeeming itself to a level of entertainment that the original film provided. However I need to see a really good trailer to change my mind.

July 15th
Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows 2
The event 10 years in the making is finally upon us and sadly we have reached the bittersweet conclusion to the longest running continuous film franchise in the history of Hollywood. While it saddens me to see the adventure end, its time, as a decade is far too long for a story to come full circle although next year's Hobbit and subsequent sequel will stretch that limit. I will always question how the series would have played out had the late Richard Harris (the only Dumbledore) had finished the journey; perhaps I might have shed a tear for his characters demise in HBP. Make sure your packing some tissues cause this one is going to be a bloodbath.

Overall A- In the words of Star Trek's Q- "all good things must come to an end".

July 22nd
Captain America: the First Avenger
The Avenger that I had the least amount of interest in arrives with an origin story that is finally done right, by introducing the audience to the character in all his WWII glory instead of the current day resurrection of him post ice tomb. While I'm not thrilled with Chris Evans playing the title character (after all he's already played the Human Torch twice in FF) I'll get over it. Staying true to the characters origin, not only are we getting the transformation of Steve Rogers from dork to stud (via the super soldier formula) but we get a glimpse of Bucky (the lamest sidekick ever), Dum Dum Dugan, Union Jack, and Hugo Weaving (Matrix/LOTR) as the Red Skull.

Overall A-. While the buzz on Green Lantern has picked up interest (thanks to the re-shoots) I believe that Captain America will be the winning superhero movie of the summer. The material (World War 2) appeals to a wider ranged audience, it has a gritty realism about it as Cap is not a mutant (per say) nor does he rely on laser weapons or god-like powers to fight and who can resist Marvel's one and only patriot? Plus have you seen how ridiculously H-O-T Chris Evans looks (see below)?

July 29th
Cowboys and Aliens
A nonsensical clash of ideas based (shockingly) on yet another graphic novel that involves the wild west, aliens, and features one Indiana Jones (Ford) and one James Bond (Craig). The weird part about this film is that Ron Howard and Steven Spielberg are associated with it, but coming off the heals of director Jon Favreau's epic failure of Iron Man 2, I hold little hope that this one will be anything to talk about.

Overall C. Not my cup of tea, but for some reason westerns (I guess maybe even those featuring aliens?) seem to be staging a comeback (see True Grit's final box office).

The Smurfs
A live action version of the little Swiss blue creatures who thanks to Gargamel's (Hank Azaria) cockamamie spell have been transported from smurf land to NYC and into Neil Patrick Harris's life. The voice talents are a cornucopia of talent including Jonathan Winters (isn't he dead?) as Papa Smurf, Katy Perry as Smurfette , Paul 'pee wee' Reubens as Jokey and George Lopez as Grouchy (though wasn't his name Grumpy?).

Overall B. Pure and simple pandering to a nostalgic Gen-X crowd with kids. You're damn right I'm going to see it.

August 5th
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
When compared to the original movies this latest remake would be considered completely out of order in the series. However for all intents and purposes this film is a prequel to Mark Wahlberg's Planet of Apes remake as it shows how the earth fell under the control of apes seen in the final shot of the original movie. The film stars James Franco as the scientist who accidentally creates the mutated Caesar (progenitor of the talking apes) while researching a cure for Alzheimer's and features Andy Serkis (LOTR Gollum), Brian Cox (X-Men 2), Tyler Labine (Reaper's sock) and Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) in his first role post Potter.

Overall B-. Based on the super creepy preview trailer, I'm in.

August 12th
Final Destination 5
Clearly the final destination was nowhere near the end of this worn out series. Not much to really discuss here other than the same formula playing out over and over again with a new cast of young Hollywood getting not so cleverly killed off and another creepy cameo from Tony Todd (Candyman).

Overall F. Enough with this series, the last good one was part two and ever since then its all been crap. The so called Final Destination stretched the plot to the breaking point and if it were not for that movie being in 3-D that movie would have been unbearable to watch.

August 19th
Fright Night
A remake of the 1980's horror flick that features an eclectic cast of people including David "Dr Who" Tennant taking on Roddy McDowell's character, Colin Farrell as the vampire and Star Trek's Anton Yelchin as Charlie Brewster.

Overall B-. I must confess that I am a bit of a fan of the original movie and while not the best entry in the vampire genre it was fun enough that with this cast my interest has been peaked.

Conan the Barbarian
Can someone explain to me why there is a remake of this 80's cheesefest? I mean for what it was Arnold's version is a camp classic in fantasy films which does not deserve to be upstaged or forgotten by an update. This latest reboot stars Stargate Atlantis/Game of Thrones Jason Mamoa as the barbarian who looks nowhere near as freakishly large as the "governator" and Rose McGowan who I guess is introducing her Red Sonja character in this movie.

Overall D. No thanks.

August 26th
Don't be afraid of the Dark
Well it looks like Tom has opened the lock on her cage as Katie Holmes returns to the big screen along with Guy Pearce in this remake of a 1970's horror yarn about a woman who believes that her inherited mansion is haunted by creatures living in the walls.

Overall C. With Guillermo Del Toro in charge expect his fantastical vision of otherwordly creatures to step to the fore front of this late summer entry.

Summer 2011 at the movies: part one

2011-04-28T01:57:00.035-04:00

April 29th
Dylan Dog: Dead of Night
Five years after the tepid Superman sequel Brandon Routh has re-emerged from obscurity (well except for that brief stint on Chuck but then again who watches that shit?) fronting of all things a horror movie based on an Italian comic book series; uhm okay. This one has the smell of failure written all over it, particularly with Routh's less than charismatic personality, dry delivery (was that a joke you just cracked in the trailer?) and monotone voice. The film reunites Superman Returns alum Sam Huntington (Being Human) as Dylan's adorkable sidekick but beyond that no one else in the film is a recognizable name worth mentioning.

Overall: D. Based on the trailers there is at least one scene of Routh shirtless which bumps the grade up from an F, however it looks like Dog is slated to be the first flop of the summer season.

Fast Five
Is anyone else as shocked and/or appalled as I am, that the Fast and the Furious has spawned a fifth sequel? This latest incarnation re teams Vin Diesel and Paul Walker for a third adventure along with various characters from the other sequels. After four movies that focused on street racing and stealing exotic cars this latest sequel takes the series in a new direction by turning the characters into international thieves albeit using their skills with cars too pull off bank heists. While Paul Walker continues to get hotter as he ages why is Vin Diesel still being considered for leading roles , that guy lost his sex appeal circa 2005.

Overall: D. While I have no interest in this franchise, the target audience of alpha males will flock to it along with their dates as the film appeals to both groups with a high octane adventure and man candy quotient to satisfy all.

May 6th
Thor
When I originally learned that Thor was being adapted for the big screen I must confess that I felt like a kid in a candy store to learn that one of the Avengers was coming to the big screen. However with the recent flurry of trailers and new footage being released, I have changed my position on the matter. I'm starting to think that Thor is destined for Hulk (if not Daredevil) territory with a miscast actor (this is Hemsworth's first leading role), a weak origin story and a plot that serves no purpose other than setting the character up to be an accessory when the Avengers assemble next summer. While Hemsworth looks the part I call into question his ability to carry a major release in his first outing and if the clips are a hint of things to come my concerns are warranted. Not even a supporting cast that includes Natalie Portman and Anthony Hopkins will be enough to salvage a script which looks like it was thrown together by encompassing elements of 200 issues of the comic book; if there is a bright spot here it looks to be in Tom Hiddleston who's diabolical Loki might be enough to save this sinking ship.

Overall: C-. I really want to like this one and originally I believed that it would be better than Captain America because of the Norse god aspect of the characters origin, however based upon the footage that looks to be a minor subplot as Thor appears to be spending most of his time on Earth dealing with SHIELD instead of in Asgard.

May 13th
Priest
Based on a Korean comic book character and set in an alternate universe where humans and vampires have co-existed for centuries, Priest is poised to be the must see fanboy film in May. Bonus points for being filmed in 3D and featuring a who's who of fantasy genre favorites from film and television including: Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandent, Maggie "Nikita" Q, Karl "Bones" Urban, Stephen "Bill" Moyer, Christopher Plummer and Brad Douriff.

Overall: B. the previews look great.

May 20th
Pirates of the Caribbean: on Stranger Tides:
Pirates 4 finds the beloved Jack Sparrow up to his old tricks on a quest to find the fountain of youth. Along the way he meets up with some old friends and a new foe in Blackbeard who has managed to wrest the Black Pearl away (again) from Sparrow's drunken command. Thankfully Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly are out as they were becoming a drag on the films and Penelope Cruz is in as a potential love interest for Depp.

Overall B. Family fun that appeals to everyone and not so shockingly will dominate at the box office with a $120m opening weekend.

May 27th
The Hangover 2
Talk about beating a dead horse, this looks to be the lamest entry in May and fully illustrates that there no longer is creativity in Hollywood and that sometimes a good or great movie (depending on what you thought of the first one) is just that and should never EVER need a sequel. I mean really was there such a need to reunite these guys and put them in more wacky adventures in a foreign country without Mel Gibson's cameo ... really?

Overall F. There is a reason why films like these are standalone.

Kung Fu Panda 2
You've got to be kidding me, one of the most boring Dreamworks creations in the last decade is getting a lame sequel?

Overall D. Not my bag (considering that the first one was tossed from the DVD player about half way through), but parents need something to keep their kids occupied. Skadoosh this.

June 3rd
X-Men 1st Class
I'm really on the fence about this one as the X-Men franchise is attempting to correct itself from the disastrous Last Stand. This prequel set in the late 1960's cold war America, is yet again another origin story focusing on the early adventures of Xavier/Magneto and showcasing several obscure X-Men (Banshee, Havok,White Queen), the classic uniforms, and the formation of Xavier's school for the gifted. Unfortunately therein lies the problem with the movie as the comic is based on the original five X-Men and other than a teenage Beast the rest of the original members are MIA (cyclops, jean grey, angel, iceman). As for the cast, it is a collection of minor league actors with the main exception being James McAvoy (although he is he really that mainstream?) and a sorely miscast Kevin Bacon as Sebastian Shaw the villain of this piece.

Overall C. there are too many unknown variables here to rate this one any higher. While the international trailer gives you lot more substance of the film, I'm not sure that people are going to flock to this one particularly with more obscure characters, fans of the orginal films still feeling the burn and a wolverine-less movie.

June 10th
Super 8
JJ Abrams 1970's alien adventure involving area 51, goonies making a movie during their summer vacation and another Fanning child (Elle) sounds incredibly boring.

Overall D. Lame, skip it.

June 17th
Green Lantern
The movie that I naysayed right from the start particularly after the awful trailer that was released last year, has recently change my mind thanks in no small part to the latest trailer which makes the film look and feel (well) rather epic thanks to the inclusion of the lantern corps and guardians home planet. While I still believe Ryan Reynolds is completely wrong for this role particularly since he is likely going to be Deadpool(why was Paul Walker not considered-see below) and Gossip Girl's Blake Lively not belonging in this genre, I will reserve judgment on Reynold's performance until after I have seen the movie.

Overall: B. It's entirely possible that Lantern could be the hands down superhero film of the summer and while it will never rank on the level of the Dark Knight it could reach Iron Man (1 not 2) status.

Black Swan: a review

2010-12-18T14:10:00.014-05:00

So for the first time in a couple years I decided to venture out to the movies to see the most buzzed about indie feature of this holiday season (instead of waiting for the DVD) and I must confess that I was completely blown away with Black Swan as it reminded me of the psychological thrillers that Brian DePalma churned out back in the day.

The story centers on ingenue Nina (Natalie Portman) a bulimic ballet dancer, that lives with her domineering mother Erica scarily played by Barbara Hershey who through a series of disturbing scenes controls all aspects of Nina's life. Other notables in the cast included Winona Ryder (who I had no idea was in the movie) as the aging dancer/little princess Beth who doesn't take her retirement very well, Mila Kunis as rival Lily (black swan?) and Vincent Cassell (the art thief from Ocean's 12) as Thomas the slime ball director of the NY ballet. Both Portman and Hershey are at the top of their game in their respective roles and deliver a chillingly dysfunctional and unnervingly toxic parent-child dynamic. Is it wrong that I thought that Natalie looked fantastic with her anorexic body or that I really was missing Barbara's collagen lips?

The film itself is a stylishly crafted work of genius with gritty real world environments, interspersed amongst fantastical visual imagery (particularly a scene in a nightclub that was viscerally amazing), to moments of darkness that suggest another world within itself. Underlying the film is a sexually charged subplot that at times I found was a bit distracting (if completely unnecessary) from the overt advances of the director, to moments of awkward self exploration all culminating in a lesbian sequence (which may or may not have occurred) that caused the old couple in the front row of the theater to pack up and leave. Be warned that there are many disturbing scenes involving physical pain and self mutilation that I did not expect as well as some moments of humor that had myself and the people around me giggling.

This one is definitely the must see film of the year and with Tron being a bust I may have to see it again.

As a bonus (at least for my showing) you get some great previews including the Tree of Life with Brad Pitt looking breathtaking (for the first time in years) , Water for Elephants with Reese Witherspoon and Robert Pattinson who I will say (one time and one time only) looks beautiful and the number one reason to hate (if you don't already) Gwenyth Paltrow as an aging singer in Country Strong with Gossip Girl's Leighton 'Blair' Meester (sounds like a trainwreck).

CON- the Voyage of the Dawn Treader: a review

2010-12-18T13:27:00.012-05:00

The latest entry in the Chronicles of Narnia appears (based on its lackluster performance) to be its last as the series has been on a steady decline since the original film debuted, even the sub par 3D was unable to breathe life into this dying franchise. To say that the only good part about the movie was seeing the cute actor who plays Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes) swash buckling around with his lovely hair is pretty pathetic, but there it is. How unfortunate that this tepid sequel from another studio (since Disney dumped it) was incapable of re-imagining one of the better books in the series as the story moved away from static Narnia and onto foreign lands across the sea. What Treader lacks in an engaging story, it suffers worse from slow pacing issues and disjointed scenes that appeared out of order.

Strangely, all of the Pevensie children make an appearance in this movie contrary to the original story which focused on Lucy, Edward and their cousin Eustace; even the white witch briefly returns (which is out of context since she never returned after her death in wardrobe). With all that being said I will admit that for the most part I personally enjoyed continuing (or likely) ending the journey of Narnia even though I have never connected with the series in the way that I have with the LOTR and Harry Potter franchises. It was fun seeing little Lucy all grown up and the actor cast as cousin a-hole Eustace was perfect, although I just don't see him being able to hold a film (the Silver Chair) on his own even though there were several allusions to it at the end of this one when Jill Poe (the other main character in that story) stops by for a visit off camera and Aslan informs Eustace that Narnia may yet have more adventures in store for him.

As for the religious subtext it was ... as always ... an underlying theme in this movie, but isn't that subtext kind of there in every good v evil movie? Although it became downright in your face at the end of the film when the crew sailed to Aslan's country at the end of the world (aka heaven) where the lion king told Lucy that she should come to know him in her world under his other name.

If you are a fan of the books/movies then I would say go see it just to have some closure. I would not endorse seeing it in 3D as I thought that the effects were kinda cheap; on the other hand it did contribute to making this movie a bit more enjoyable.

5 overlooked bloodsuckers to check out this Halloween

2010-10-26T11:21:00.011-04:00

For those of who don't associate with the cool kids in thinking that Twilight is the best vampire movie EVER, are clearly missing out on some of the best so bad their good vampire films to emerge from the genre in the past decade which frankly are superior films to Twilight in every way ... though honestly what isn't?

Dracula 2000

One of the most overlooked films is Dracula 2000. This train wreck re-telling of the legendary character stars none other than Gerard Butler as Dracula ... that's right GERARD BUTLER is Dracula! This movie begins in London but advances to New Orleans as the vampire is on a quest for his soulmate who turns out to be none other than his arch-nemesis Van Helsing's daughter. The cast is a virtual who's who of stars including Christopher Plummer as Van Helsing, Jonny Lee "sick boy" Miller as Van Helsing's protege, Jeri 7 of 9 Ryan and Jennifer Esposito as the underling vampire brides, Danny Masterson, Omar Epps, Shane West and Nathan Fillion. If the cast alone isn't enough to entice you, the film also features some bizarre special effects including a ceiling sex scene where you get a quick peak at Gerard's bootie and an origin story which is nothing short of sacrilege. In this version Dracula is no longer Vlad the Impaler, but instead is the biblical character Judas who commits suicide near the sight of the crucifixion for his betrayal only to be resurrected by the devil to walk the earth in the form of a vampire. At all costs avoid the two "related" sequels Dracula II-Ascension and Dracula III-Legacy as Gerard is not in them.

Bram Stoker's Dracula

C'mon who doesn't love this one with Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder doing their worst at speaking with a victorian British accent, plus Anthony Hopkins as Van Helsing and Gary Oldman as the Romanian count all in one Francis Ford Coppola film! This stylishly crafted movie delivers and fails on so many levels as it attempts to recreate the Stoker's original tale.

Van Helsing

This under-appreciated gem stars a naked Hugh Jackman (although you need to be quick to catch it) as the legendary vampire hunter who not only is after Dracula but also encounters movie legends like Mr Hyde, the Wolfman, an interestingly re-imagined Frankenstein and one Kate Beckinsale trying her worst to skewer a Russian/Romanian (?) accent. What the film lacks in writing it more than makes up for it style with clever special effects including an homage to classic horror films and some really cheesy dialogue. I'm not sure I could classify this as a horror movie as it is far more entertaining than it is scary.

Underworld

Kate Beckinsale dons a black spandex leotard as vampire 'death dealer' Selene who is tasked with destroying all lycanthropes she crosses paths with. Along the way she manages to hook up with Scott Speedman (Ben from Felicity) who she discovers is the long lost descendant of a werewolf king and is destined to become a deviant hybrid of both species. A subplot of vampire politics and fantastic video game-esque special effects all filmed in a blue hue make this vampire entry a must rent and if you can't get enough there are two inferior sequels.

John Carpenter's Vampires

James Woods, twin peaks Sheryl Lee and Daniel Baldwin star in this campfest, do you really need anymore of a reason to see this one? This fanged outing features Woods and Baldwin as vampire hunters on a quest from the catholic church to seek out an alpha vampire who is searching for an ancient relic that will enable him to become a day walker. This one borders on being a b-movie as the special effects are limited and the dialogue is exceptionally cheesy but somehow Woods and company pull it off. The icing on the cake here is one of the most oddly erotic vampire bite scenes of all time as Sheryl Lee's crotch (I'm guessing her femoral artery) is the focus of the vampire's feeding frenzy.

Honorable mention

From Dusk till Dawn

While I'm not the biggest fan of this one it definitely is worth a mention as it stars George Clooney, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Keitel, Juliette Lewis, Selma Hayek, Cheech Marin, Tom Savini and modern horror fan fave Danny Trejo. In a nutshell the film follows a bumbling pair of bank robbers (Clooney/Tarantino) on the run from the law who hijack a dysfunctional family vacation to Mexico. A stop at a strip club leads to a confrontation with a nest of stripper vampires who feed off of cut throats, truck drivers and unsuspecting tourists that stumble into their lair. Clever dialogue, mediocre special effects and a star studded cast make it worth a look.

The Scream Awards?

2010-10-25T19:47:00.014-04:00

Did anyone else catch the 2010 Scream Awards on Spike or for that matter do you have any idea what the hell I am talking about? Apparently the Spike channel for the last couple of years has an awards show celebrating all that is horror, sci fi and fantasy filmed at the Greek theater in Hollywood. After reading about it last year on the true blood wiki I decided to tune in this year to see what all the hoopla was about. Basically the awards are a mini horror convention with fans dressed in costumes, an elaborately decorated stage, filmed in that MTV glossy style and packed full of celebrities; which makes me wonder how does one score a ticket for this event? Here's my crib notes version of the show:

Inception swept the film portion of the awards including accolades for best sci fi film, Tom Hardy for breakthrough performance and Joseph Gordon Levitt as best supporting actor.

On the other end True Blood swept the television portion including the Holy shit scene of the year for Stephen Moyer (the neck twist), best horror actor/actress went to Paquin and Skarsgard and of course the show won for best tv show. BTW Stephen Moyer was looking HOT, how is that guy such a chameleon in his appearance with being bleh one moment and then sexy as hell in the same year? In this instance it was definitely hearing him speak in his native tongue that made him more appealing, plus his hair was looking perfectly zooshed. Askar looked as perfect as ever although I was really disturbed that (like Allan Hyde) he has practically lost his accent and what is the f*cking deal with Anna Paquin? I'm kinda over her in general, not only on the show but also in the real world as it seems that fame has gone to her head. For instance she needed some freak dressed like Elvis Costello to help her up to the stage (WTF) and is she pulling a fake madonna british accent as I seem to recall her being from Canada where they don't sound like Jane Austen! The oddest part about the True Blood moments though was Marilyn Manson (looking bloated, old and no longer relevant) presenting the award for best TV show where he flanked Alan Ball in some sort of strange Nosferatu pose while Ball was speaking and then was doing his best to hit on "Pam" while the cast was on stage!

The Scream 4 preview debuted which clearly will feature every current starlet in Hollywood. Neve Campbell is looking old and quite un-fabulous while Courtney Cox who is looking fabulous at 40 is likely going to bite the dust in this one ... farewell Gail :(

Sigourney Weaver won an award, talk about a comeback.

David Spade showed up (how is this douchebag ever been relevant?) in a delorean to present Christopher Lloyd (who looked like he was just pulled out of a nursing home) and M J Fox with lifetime achievement awards although likely it was a shameless plug for the 25th anniversary of Back to the Future coming out on Blu Ray; am I really that old to clearly remember seeing this trilogy in the theater?

Not so shockingly the best worst movie of the year award went to Piranha 3D.

Fu*king avatar won for best 3d film of the year ... I loathe James Cameron.

LOST was rehashed again with an award and mini reunion featuring Hurley and several of the show's minor characters ... WHY?

Zombieland won best horror movie and Bill Murray showed up to accept the award dressed in his ghostbusters get-up.

Twilight won for best fantasy movie .... YAWN.

Lastly I call bullshit on the most anticipated movie award which went to the Green Lantern, yet again this felt like another shameless plug and Ryan Reynolds looks like he has shed all his muscle, I hope that was for an upcoming role.

True Blood Season 3: the good, the bad & the bloody

2010-09-09T15:33:00.019-04:00

With the finale looming large I thought I should take some time to dissect what made season 3 such a mess (by adding too many characters all at once), how it came back to life in the middle and then fizzled out at the end when the plot from "Club Dead" wrapped in episode 9. Rather than going into great detail about all the nuances and irritations that this season brought I've compiled an overview of what made this summer uniquely entertaining and a bloody good time.

The Royal treatment:
If there was a Queen in Louisiana there must be vampire royalty in other states, enter the King of Mississippi Russell Edgington the most ancient and gayest of all vampires. From his first appearance riding in on a white horse wearing that elegantly appointed hunting outfit I knew that we would be in for a treat. Denis O Hare's award worthy performance is nothing short of genius as he immersed himself into the role (from a character who had about two paragraphs of source material in 7 books), creating one of the most memorable characters on television ever.

Of course no King could be complete without his consort and Russell's eternal lover was memorable. Theo Alexander's Talbot put the camp in campiness as this conquistador vampire sought perfection in all aspects of his life from the blood flavored delicacies he served at dinner (such as the almond flavored thai boy blood) to his immaculately decorated mansion. Though his time was brief he managed to steal his fair share of scenes on the show including the ultimate coitus interruptus when Eric impaled him a second time.

The Triangle is now a square:
Now that we have reached the end of season 3, I still question why Bill is in the picture? With the events of Club Dead having played out as written in the books with Bill being outed by everyone as the duplicitous bastard that he is, why does Sookie STILL keep coming back for more? While I confess that his character became far more interesting this year by playing vampire politics, I am over his relationship with sookie and that ego complex that only HIS blood can keep her alive has become tiresome.

As for Sookie, I have to agree with other observations that her character has become incredibly cumbersome this year and Anna Paquin's on screen chemistry with Alexander Skarsgard has fizzled from last years hot dream sequences, which makes me question how the events of season four aka "dead to the world" will play out between Eric and her.

On the other hand one tall, dark and sexy werewolf (Joe Mangiello's Alcide) definitely had a spark with Sookie and thankfully with Joe being bumped to series regular next year we will see that relationship develop further.

The backwoods of Hotshot:
After Jason's utterly boring story during season 2 and his shellshock over Eggs death early on this year, Jason returned back to form as the sexed up shirtless dimwit that we have all grown to love. Giving Jason a purpose with his obsession at becoming a cop was genius and although this did not happen in the books it has enabled the show to introduce the town of Hotshot and The Norris brood to the True Blood fans early as these events did not occur in the books until later on.

While TB's Calvin Norris is nothing like his book counterpart ( he wasn't a dirty piece of meth trafficking trash), both Felton and Crystal are kinda dead on. Luckily it is Jason's connection to Hotshot which will keep him on the front burner for the rest of the show as his kindred connection will come to the surface when he marries Crystal.

Dark Sam and the family Mickens:
For some strange reason (well not really AB needed to give Sam a purpose on the show) Sam decided to go find his family after that near death experience with Marryanne discovering that not only were his parents alive but that he had a little brother. I gotta say that I loved every bit of this side story, Sam's parents are the biggest trash on television and Joe Lee's underwear scenes were just vile. However the scene stealer of this crew goes to that pitbull of a brother Tommy who has become one of my favorite characters on the show.

Marshall Allman is just a natural in this role as the jackass irritating little brother that remains a constant thorn in Sam's side and although he seemingly has a dubious past his character is less flawed than we are lead to believe. Unfortunately the same can not be sad for the seemingly upright Sam who we recently discovered is equally as despicable as his father having been a thief,con man and murderer in his former life before bon temps.

Looney Tunes:
Dishrag Tara got a lot more interesting after last years coma inducing time with Eggs when she hooked up with the psycho vamp Franklin Mott. Chillingly executed by James Frain, Franklin's abusive utterly insane character went far beyond the character who briefly terrorized Tara in Club Dead. It was unfortunate that Jason destroyed him but his story had kind of wrapped up, though I suspect that Mickey the vampire that Franklin gave Tara to, will be in the picture next year as he seeks revenge on her for his maker's destruction.

There's a wolf in the chicken coot:
As this was the year werewolf, the show introduced us to a number of memorable wolves though none were more entertaining for me than sexy Grant Bowler's "Coot" the king of one liners and Brit Morgan's uber bitch Debbie Pelt. Although contrary to her alter ego Debbie was not a werewolf but a shifter who turned into a fox but I suspect that the show decided to simplify the supernaturals as they are confusing enough as it is. An interesting twist on the show was the Shreveport werewolves addiction to V and how Russell supplied and kept them under his control for thousands of years. Sadly while Coot is no more, bookies know that we have not heard the last of Debbie as she and Sookie will have a showdown towards the end of season 4.

Tinkerbell:
Well there really was no way around the absurd plot development that Charlaine Harris had created as the source for Sookie's power and season three brought us our first glimpse of Sookie's fairy godmother/cousin Claudine and a glimpse into the world of the fae that has been embellished beyond the source material. While we have yet to see Claude (claudine's twin) or Sookie's great grandfather Niall, we were introduced to Hunter, Hadley's son who also has inherited the family trait. Thinking back to season two, does this mean that bellman Barry (who turns up later on in the books) also has fairy blood since he can read minds?

Something wiccan this way comes:
Arlene who has always been a constant in the novels, got a boost on the show thanks to her demon seed baby (aka Rene's evil spawn) taking over her life and new witchy waitress (original book character) Holly attempting to work some mojo on it. Speaking of mojo the only character who has never betrayed me on the show (Lafayette) finally got a fitting storyline and a hot papi boyfriend. The recent revelation that Lafayette descended from a line of voodoo priests has refreshed his character and given him a storyline arc for next season when the witch war occurs.

The Dirty Dozen

2010-08-21T13:55:00.014-04:00

Presenting twelve reasons that will make TV sizzle this year.

Everything's bigger in Texas.
Mark Deklin-Lonestar

James Wolk-Lonestar

The big Kahuna.
Alex O'Loughlin-Hawaii Five-O

Don't fear the reaper.
Bret Harrison-V

Gaying it forward.
Trevor Donovan-90210

An earth shattering event
Wes Ramsey- The Event

We got spirit yes we do.
Matt Barr- Hellcats

Time won't let me go.
Mehcad Brooks- My Generation

Michael Stahl David- My Generation

The Femme Fatale.
Maggie Q- Nikita

A greek god returns.
Jamie Bamber- The Outcasts

Weeding out the bad guys.
Jesse Metcalfe- Chase

TV 2010-2011: The Veterans

2010-08-20T14:45:00.009-04:00

It is incredibly difficult to find synopses of returning shows right now, but here is the most recent information that I have discovered for several fan favorites.

SUNDAY

ABC
Desperate Housewives: Susan and Mike fled the cul de sac and Paul Young returned to Wisteria Lane. With the departure of Nicolette Sheridan, Ugly Betty's Vanessa Williams arrives to become the resident bitch and Brian Austin Greene is set to be Bree's new boy toy.

Brother's n Sister's: the fallout from the collapse of the family business will strain relationships, Saul deals with repercussions of testing HIV +, Robert is dead, Holly recuperates from her injuries and Rebecca departs the show. Unfortunately the annoying habit of ABC time traveling shows rears it's ugly head again as this season will be taking place a year after the events of last year's cliffhanger.

FOX
The Simpsons: the longest running show on primetime returns for its 22nd season. This years treehouse of horror will spoof twilight and have Daniel Radcliffe (that Harry Potter) voicing the Edward Cullen-esque character romancing Lisa-bella.

Family Guy: the 9th year of Stewie's misadventures goes hi-def, will feature an hour long Christmas musical and debut the final Star Wars parody entitled "it's a trap" which will air in May.

SHO
Dexter: Dex adjusts to life as a single father while dealing with the death of Rita and dodging an investigation into his involvement in her death.

MONDAY

CW
90210: surprisingly this show has reached its senior year and like its predecessor the Beverly Hills brats will be looking forward to life after high school. Annie, after an incredibly dull year of being a doormart gets her act together and hooks up (sorry Liam) with a new character named Charlie (played by Diana Ross's son Evan) just in time to witness the disintegration of her parents marriage. Adrianna continues exploring her musical talent /sexuality and the show's resident hottie Teddy goes gay (Trevor Donovan confirmed via tweet) with Glee's Kyle Riabko.

Gossip Girl: after the painfully dull third season, GG returns for another outing by quickly answering all the jaw dropping cliffhangers from last season such as who shot Chuck, what are B & S doing in Paris and OMG Dan knocked up Georgina? Meanwhile back in NYC Nate inherits Chuck's little black book and has spent the summer on a booze filled sex bender. Katie Cassidy (Melrose Place's Ella) joins the show and rumor has it that Blake Lively has asked that her character be killed off so that she can concentrate on a movie career.

NBC
Chuck: after Chuck's dad (Scott Bakula) was killed in the Buy More explosion, Chuck decides that being a spy may not be for him. Unfortunately the CIA has other plans for him as the new and improved Buy More is an elaborate new front for the spy agency. Look for Terminator's Linda Hamlton to show up as Chuck's long lost mama.

TUESDAY

CW
One Tree Hill: this fossil from the good old days of the WB limps along for season 8 and apparently is still a hit for the network, so much for your sex appeal Chad Michael Murray.

FOX
Glee: Britney Spears is confirmed for a full episode and new cast member Chord Overstreet will be playing Finn's teammate Sam who will likely become a love interest for Kurt. John Stamos joins the show as Emma's new love interest and special episodes on the horizon include a Prince and George Michael hour.

American Idol : Steven Tyler from aerosmith has signed to take Simon's place, now the bigger question is who will take Paula's old chair ... rumor has it that J-Lo is the likely front runner but don't count Mariah Carey out just yet.

FX
Sons of Anarchy: jax deals with the fallout of Abel's kidnapping and takes it out on Tara urging her to leave the lifestyle in charming and Gemma returns.

THURSDAY
CW
The Vampire Diaries: this season will focus less on the brothers grim and become more of an ensemble show. Bookies will be pleased to learn that the show will begin using more source material from the books as season one was slammed for diverging far of course. The return of Katherine (damon and stefan's maker) will be the focal point for year two, Bonnie will delve deeper into her witchcraft, Jeremy may be sprouting fangs and the werewolves arrive.

FOX

Fringe: season 3 will spend a vast majority of time in the alternate-verse as the creators want to explore the "what if" scenario in depth.

FRIDAY

CW
Smallville: the FINAL and 10th season of the show about Superman's origins is going all out. Yes Smallville has become the longest running WB show on television! This season we will see the departure of Chloe and the return of multiple characters from the past including Kara aka Supergirl (V's Laura Vandervoort), Lucy Lane (Peyton List from Mad Men) Michael Ironside as "the general" and several characters from the grave including Pa Kent (John Schneider) and Lionel Luther (John Glover). As for the villains look for the arrival of Darkseid and the return of Braniac (James 'Spike' Marsters). After 9 years of speculation clark will finally learn to fly with a little help from Kara and by series end will don the red cape and blue tights that Brandon Routh wore in Superman Returns. Fortunately for us fanboys, the CW is finally ready to spin-off the show with either the Justice League or Justice Society.

Supernatural: after the apocalypse and the departure of show runner Eric Kripke what's next for the Winchester boys? For starters Sam has somehow managed to escape from hell just in time to ruin Dean's normal life and the boys grandfather X-Files Mitch Pillegi returns from the grave. Season 6 will see the show return to its roots of the boys kicking ass against supernatural creatures while juggling vengeful archangels now that Lucifer has been defeated.

FOX
Human Target: picking up right where the show left off, we find Chance and Guerrero on the hunt for the kidnapped Winston and enlisting the aid of new series regular Ames. The fallout from Winston's abduction leaves Chance unnerved and he decides that its time for a career change only to be lured back into it by a mysterious woman (new series regular Indira Varma from HBO's ROME) who needs his protection after her industrialist husband is murdered.

ANNOUNCED

ABC
V: yet again ABC cannot decide what to do with this one, first the premiere was scheduled for November then January and now MARCH? The season two opener drops a bomb on us right from the start as we learn that Diana (Jane Badler) is being held prisoner on the mothership by her daughter Anna. Joining the show for season two is Reaper's Bret Harrison as a scientist who has been working on a biological weapon against the V.

NBC

Friday Night Lights: the final season (hasn't it been the final season for 3 years?) will air once again on Direct TV beginning Oct 27th, this time however NBC has not committed to showing it.

TV 2010-11: The Newbies

2010-08-19T11:32:00.024-04:00

Here we are again at that most wonderful time of the year as the fall season is set to launch in just a few weeks. Unlike the last few years which were themed heavily in the sci-fi/fantasy genre this years incoming class is all over the place with comedies, dramas, thrillers and a few remakes thrown in. As always this overview is not inclusive of everything debuting but covers the shows that have been receiving the most hype from media outlets.

MONDAY

CBS
Hawaii Five-0: Either the biggest hit of the fall or the biggest flop, this updated remake of the 1970's classic has received the most buzz of any other show debuting this year. The cast includes rising star Alex O'Loughlin (moonlight) as Det Steve McGarrett, Scott Caan (oceans 13) as Dan-O, Daniel Dae Kim (Lost) as Det Kelly and Grace Park (BSG) as Kona.

Grade A-. Not sure that it will live up to the hype but any show set in Hawaii gets a thumbs up from me, plus how can you resist the cheese factor of the phrase 'book em Dan-O" or the ridiculously hot Alex O'Loughlin shirtless?

FOX
Lone Star: the latest prime time soap from FOX is set in texas (hmmm sounds familiar) and focuses on a con man named Robert 'Bob' Allen (newcomer James Wolk). In one life, Bob is living it up in Houston with wife Cat (Adrianne Palicki from Friday Night Lights) daughter of oil tycoon Clint Thatcher (Jon Voight) who is "the mark" that Bob was sent to con. The rest of the time Robert is living a suburban existence in Midland Texas with girlfriend Lindsay. The rest of the cast includes sex pot Mark Deklin (nip tuck) as the eldest Thatcher Trammel who suspects his brother in law has an ulterior motive, Bryce Johnson (popular) as Drew Thatcher who idolizes Bob, David Keith as John Allen the ring leader and Chad Faust (4400) as Cat's ex husband Harrison.

Grade B-. I have been waiting for a new prime time soap to catch on for years maybe this "Dallas 2k" will fit the bill.

NBC
The Event: the biggest question of the summer (not really) is NBC's newest conspiracy thriller which wants to fill the void that Lost and too a much lesser degree Flash Forward has left. Based on the latest TV promo it looks like the event is the revelation that aliens among us ... or is it? The show stars hotties Wes Ramsey (charmed/csi miami) and Jason Ritter (the class) and features Blair Underwood as the president.

Grade C. I'm kinda done with this genre after the LOST betrayal and horrendous Flash Forward and yet I'm glutton for punishment so I likely will give it the 3 episode test to impress.

Chase: this new drama stars Cole Hauser, Jessie Metcalfe (desperate housewives), and newcomer Amaury Nolasco as US marshalls tracking down America's most wanted.

Grade C-. Could be a hit if they keep up the momentum of the show, although last year's "high octane" trauma was a flop.

TUESDAY

ABC
No Ordinary Family: A family goes on vacation in the amazon (what?) and end up in a plane crash. Upon returning home they discover that the crash has given them super human abilities. EVERYTHING about this one says it belongs on the ABC Family network, so why is this going to primetime? The Cast includes Tate Donovan (OC), Julie Benz (Dexter) and Michael Chiklis (the shield).

Grade D. People with young kids may latch on to this one although if ABC are soo willing to take a chance on this genre why didn't the put Kyle XY in primetime? Emmy winner Chiklis should be ashamed for signing on to this crap, then again he did play the Thing in Fantastic Four, so I guess money does talk.

FOX
Raising Hope: This comedy/drama (I guess) focuses on Jimmy a 20 something washout who has a one night stand finds out 9 months later that he has a kid when it arrives on his doorstep after the baby mama ends up in jail. The show features newcomer Lucas Neff as Jimmy, Cloris Leachman as "maw maw", Martha Plimpton as mama Virginia, Bijou Phillips as Lucy and Garret Dillahunt (terminator -sarah conor chronicles) as papa Burt.

Grade B. At first glance I rolled my eyes and groaned at this one, however its kind of grown on me in an endearing way and is it just me or does this one feel like an update of Malcolm in the Middle particularly with Leachman playing the granny again.

Running Wilde: taking the back end of the FOX comedy hour is this entry which re-teams Arrested Development alum Will Arnett and David Cross along with Felicity's Keri Russell. The premise is about mega rich playboy Steve Wilde (arnett) whose never worked a day in his life trying too impress his childhood crush Emmy (russell) a hippie liberal by becoming humanitarian of the year.

Grade D. No matter how you slice this one, the previews look terrible and getting two arrested alum plus one felicity does not mean a comedic hit. 50/50 on this one making it to December.

WEDNESDAY

CBS
The Defenders: what looks to be the worst show of the year is this CBS entry about a couple of jackass criminal defense lawyers in Las Vegas starring Jerry O'Connell and James Belushi.

Grade F. Really? Cancellation by midseason.

CW
Hellcats: this pile of puke from the CW focuses on a financially strapped prelaw student who reluctantly uses her gymnastic experience to get on the cheerleading squad and compete on the national circuit. Not surprisingly High School Musical star Ashley Tisdale plays the bitch Savanna and hotties Ryan Kennedy (smallville) and Matt Barr (harpers island) round out the cast. The biggest question I have here is how the fuck did fanboy favorite Ben Browder (farscape) end up on this garbage?

Grade D. This one could have a built in tween audience as many of those HSM alums have found success, however the premise is really thin and cancellation could come as quickly as last years Beautiful Life went.

NBC
Undercovers: the latest take on Mr and Mrs Smith debuts this fall under the helm of JJ Abrams whose series of late have been nothing but overinflated flops (cough Flash Forward).

Grade D. Haven't we had enough (particularly this summer with 2 movies) of the secret identity spy couple?

Law & Order Los Angeles: REALLY? The latest incarnation of the series that won't ever end is set in Los Angeles and features an eclectic cast including Skeet Ulrich (jericho),Terrence Howard (iron man), Regina Hall (scary movie) and film veteran Alfred Molina.

Grade C. This one will likely have a built in audience as the nursing home crowd apparently love this show; however Law & Order spin-offs of late have not been well received.

THURSDAY

ABC
My Generation: a drama that follows the lives of 20 somethings from the class of 2000 who participated in a documentary during their senior year only to discover that life isn't exactly what it was supposed to be. The show stars mechad Brooks (eggs true blood) and Michael Stahl David (cloverfield).

Grade C. This one wins the award for trying to hard to be cool as it focuses on themes from the Bush regime and how those events played a role in shaping young people's lives. I'll give it a few episodes to peak my interest.

CBS
Shit my dad says: wow, CBS seems to be scrapping the barrel with this "comedy" that tries to be clever from the outset with its bleeped expletive title starring William Shatner and Mad tV alum Will Sasso and Nicole Sullivan.

Grade F. Even with my rating this one could likely be a success as I have never understood how comedies are such hits for CBS.

CW
Nikita: the most promising of the CW's entries is also one of the most remade stories on film and television. This recent update about an unwilling spy features newcomer Maggie Q as Nikita, Shane West (ER), Aaron Stanford (traveler) and Melinda Clarke (the OC).

Grade B. It's been awhile since "girl power" ruled the WB and this one could bring it back.

NBC
Outsourced: likely to be the most offensive show on television this year as it takes stereotypes to a new level, this one about a call center relocated from the Midwest to India is sure to strike a nerve with folks.

Grade C. While last years Community was a nightmare that survived to a second season, Parks and Rec still trying to find an audience and The Office on last legs now that Steve Carrell is leaving, this one is looking to fill the void.

FRIDAY

CBS
Blue Bloods: this drama stars Tom Selleck as the patriarch of a multi generational family of cops in NYC. Also featured are Donnie Wahlberg (boomtown) as oldest son Danny and Will Estes (reunion) as rookie Jamie.

Grade C. Big cast could turn this one into a hit with the CBS crowd.

NBC
Outlaw: Jimmy Smits stars as a supreme court judge who quits the job to go back into public service by defending the little guy.

Grade F. Jimmy Smits as a bleeding heart supreme court justice equals failure. Cancellation by October.

CABLE

AMC
The Walking Dead: based on the graphic novel of the same name, this miniseries follows the premise of life after the zombie apocalypse has occurred and how people manage to survive.

Grade A. This is the shit I live for in TV shows and although it will only run for 10 episodes I'll take what I can get.

FX
Terriers: a comedy starring Donal Logue and Michael Raymond James (Rene' True Blood) as a couple of bumbling PI's.

Grade D. Sorry but not even the oddly sexy Michael James can get me to watch this one.

HBO
Boardwalk Empire: based on the book by Nelson Johnson, this period piece set in the crime ridden Atlantic City at the dawn of prohibition follows how the mafia managed to turn a profit by combining the vices of speak easy's and gambling to New jersey. Steve Buscemi and Michael Pitt (Henry from Dawson's Creek) star.

Grade A-. I am sucker for period pieces as are most viewers of premium cable series.

MIDSEASON

SCI-FI

Outcasts : Jamie "apollo" Bamber (BSG) and Eric Mabius (ulgy betty) star in this new sci fi series which sounds like a cross between Firefly and Earth 2.

Grade A-. I am sucker for gritty sci fi and anything with Jamie Bamber is worth a look.

NBC
The Cape: another superhero show fresh on the heals of the now defunct Heroes will be hitting the peacock network. This latest take on the superhero genre focuses on disillusioned cop Vince Faraday (David Lyons) who decides to fight crime Batman style in a corrupt city. Also features Summer Glau (firefly, terminator, dollhouse) in her up-teenth series and True Blood's James Frain (franklin Mott).

Grade B-. Ugggh of course I'll be watching.

STARZ

Torchwood-the new world: this could be either season 5 by more than likely a complete relaunch of the popular BBC sci fi hit. Captain Jack (John Barrowman) returns along with Gwyn, Rhys and 2 new team members (Rex and Ester) from the CIA as the show relocates from the UK to Los Angeles .

Grade B. I have LOVED John Barrowman for 15 years ever since I saw him on Central Park West, unfortunately two things disturb me about the new series. First I don't get Starz so its unlikely I will ever see it and second I have read that Captain Jack will be romancing women ... whatever!

Camelot: Joseph Fiennes stars as Merlin in yet another retelling of the fictional kingdom of Camelot.

Grade C. Nothing to really go on here other than familiarity with the story, plus another show on Starz doesn't bode well for a limited audience.

SHO

The Borgias: the latest period piece revolves around the ruthless and powerful Borgia family who ruled Rome from the Vatican during the Renaissance. Jeremy Irons stars as Rodrigo the scheming patriarch of the family that eventually becomes pope.

Grade B. While I'm not a big fan of Irons I absolutely adore period piece series like Rome and the Tudors so I will definitely be watching this one.

(Just Updated)

HBO

Game of Thrones: This new fantasy LOTR-esque series is based upon the series of books encompassing A Song of Fire and Ice written by George RR Martin. It is set in the world of Westeros and simultaneously will follow the adventures of various characters conflicting with mystical creatures from the seven kingdoms within the realm. With 5 books of source material (2 more in the works) to use and no Hobbit film in the forseeable future, this one could be the next big thing on cable. The ever growing cast includes Sean Bean (LOTR's Boromir), Lena Headey (terminator's sarah connor), Peter Dinklage (threshold), Jason Mamoa (Stargate Atlantis), Aiden Gillen (Stuart QAF), Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (New Amsterdam) and Charles Dance (veteran film actor).

Grade A. If 100+ hrs of game play at Dragon Age has taught me anything its that I LOVE fantasy films and television, of course I will be watching!

Inception: a review

2010-07-20T00:21:00.028-04:00

After a 2 year hiatus (post Dark Knight) Christopher Nolan returns to the big screen with his follow up piece the sci-fi cerebral thriller Inception. To be honest I had my doubts that this film was going to be anything special as Leonardo DiCaprio is one of my least favorite actors and the early previews left me feeling lackadaisical about the subject matter. However it wasn't until I saw the extended preview (embedded at the bottom) that aired during the Futurama premiere that my curiosity was peaked, compelling me to see this one on opening weekend something that I normally reserve for only "big" movies. Suffice to say I was pleasantly surprised by the movie and particularly impressed by Leo's performance which I would consider to be his best role to date (keep in mind I am not a fan of his so I have a limited amount of movies to compare with). The movie can be best described as the "thinking man's" sci-fi movie as Nolan presents an abstract concept that will likely be off putting to audiences that were expecting an escapist fantasy summer blockbuster. In a nutshell the "inception" is a process where specialists use a portable device and pharmacological means to enter another persons dream where they observe or influence that persons subconscious thoughts thereby affecting their reality. Sound overly complex, it is, but don't worry Nolan does a great job at unraveling the mystery while keeping the film rolling along for 2+ action filled hours.

The cast is an eclectic mix of talent, Nolan-verse fan favorites and several actors on the rise. Leonardo DiCaprio is Cobb aka the extractor, who navigates the dream world observing and extracting the information. After his most recent implant goes bad, Cobb is offered one last shot that will allow him to get his life back, unfortunately his dead wife Mal (Public Enemies Marion Cotillard) has other plans for him as her memory takes on a life of its own sabotaging his every move. The supporting cast includes Joseph Gordon Levitt as Arthur "the point man" , Ellen Page as Aria the architect of the dream world, Ken Watanabe (Raz Azul- Batman Begins) as Saito the industrialist bank rolling the project, Cillian Murphy as "the mark" whose dream is invaded and my new crush Tom Hardy as Eames "the forger" who can assume the physical identity of others within the dream. Other notables include Michael Caine (a staple of Nolan films) as the creator of the process, a barely recognizable Tom Berenger (seriously I kept asking myself where do I know this bloated face guy from) and an all grown up Lukas Haas as Nash the original architect. Stand out performances came from Joseph Gordon Levitt (never really paid attention to his work before this) who struck me immediately as having the acting chops to take on the role (if necessary) of Heath Ledger's Joker or better yet as a potential new nemesis for Bale's Batman and British babe Tom Hardy who I suspect we will be seeing a lot more of soon. It wasn't until I was researching this review that I discovered where I remember Hardy from as he played Jean Luc Picard's evil Reman clone in Star Trek: Nemesis and sociopath Jack Donnelly on the short lived SHO series Meadowlands; I would not be surprised to see Mr Hardy snag a role in Christopher Nolan's final installment of Batman.

To sum up, while Inception will likely not be everyone's cup of tea nor does it fit the bill as a blockbuster summer film, it does do several things well: mixes fantastic CGI special effects intermingled with live action stunts (Levitt has some amazing scenes), establishes a mood early on through the look of the elaborate sets - wardrobe- makeup, utilizes above average acting talent and mixes in a fresh concept for a movie that was neither recycled or a sequel. If your in the mood to be entertained this summer I highly recommend this one.

Prince of Persia: a review

2010-06-25T18:03:00.015-04:00

Judging by the box office take in the US (around 80 million), it appears that the big screen version of the small screen game is in fact one big dud and to be honest it kinda was. Perhaps the movie was overly Disneyfied, or maybe that flimsy plot line relied to heavily on Pirates of the Caribbean gags such as the redundant shtick of Dastan (Gyllenhaal) losing that damned dagger at least 20 times, or maybe ... just maybe ... it was the fact that Jake is shirtless for only 90 seconds in the entire movie! Whatever the reason it was clear to me within the first half hour that Prince of Persia was going to be an underwhelming movie, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it was a bad one. On the contrary, if you're looking for a fantasy adventure movie with lots of big screen special effects then I encourage you to check out a matinee of it (night time price gouging might make you feel ripped off).

The film stars a recently beefed up Jake Gyllenhaal (using a sexy British accent) as Dastan an unusually dexterous orphan from the streets whom the king of Persia takes a shine too and decides to raise. Early on we see Dastan leading a covert invasion on the sanctuary city of Alamut where he meets the mysterious Tamina (Clash of the Titan's Gemma Aterton) keeper of the mysterious "dagger of time". Unfortunately the victory is short-lived when he is framed for the murder of his father becoming a fugitive from his brothers. As the story unfolds, our hero discovers the mystical powers of the dagger and hopes to turn back time to save the King's life. Along the way he meets sheik Amar (Alfred Molina) leader of a group of thieves and purveyor of an ostrich racing racket (in other words the comic relief in the movie) and eventually discovers that uncle Nizam (Ben Kinglsey) is the villain who wants the dagger for himself so that he will ascend to the throne with the death of his brother's bloodline in the past.

While the story is suitable for a video game, in general, it made for a weak film and while I wasn't blown away it did do one one thing well by delivering two hours of action packed entertainment. Unfortunately, don't expect a sequel anytime soon as the tepid reception from America has doomed that possibility even though the film has grossed over 200 million in foreign markets.

Call me a sucker

2010-06-23T11:51:00.008-04:00

The full trailer for Narnia 3 (Voyage of the Dawn Treader) is up and I can't lie I want to see it. While the original film was a poor man's LOTR and Prince Caspian was an utter bore / bust at the theater, Disney's decision to relinquish control of the franchise to Fox may actually be the thing that saves it (plus being 3-D doesn't hurt).

Iron Man 2: a review

2010-06-22T18:37:00.014-04:00

Isn't it kind of an unwritten rule of fanboy films that the sequel should (or is) always better than the first one? I mean c'mon Empire, Khan, X-2, Dark Knight are all superior films to their predecessors; even Silver Surfer is superior to that hellish nightmare Fantastic Four. Unfortunately Iron Man 2 fails on so many levels to live up to the standard set by the original film. Robert Downey Jr returns as billionaire genius playboy Tony Stark along with gal pal Gwenyth Paltrow (Pepper Potts) and poorly recast sidekick Don Cheadle as Col Rhodes who sadly has little chemistry with RDJ when compared to Terrence Howard's version from the original film. This of course begs the question why did Favreu see a need to recast a major player in the franchise? It's one thing if an actor dies (like Richard Harris's Dumbledore) but its quite another to change actors for no apparent reason and in my superhero films I expect better continuity, is that so much to ask?

Sadly the recast of Rhodes is the least of this movies problems, as a bad script, pacing issues and weak antagonists all lead to a trainwreck sequel. The villains of the piece include a completely obscure marvel-verse character called whiplash (who by the way isn't even named in this movie) played by a horrendously Russian accented Mickey Rourke and Sam (no talent) Rockwell as Justin Hammer a douchebag rival to Tony Stark. It's interesting, that of all the superhero movies that I have seen over the years (at least 20) that the super villain in this movie is on screen in character for roughly 5 minutes out of the entire 2 hour running time; clearly this is a reflection of how weak that character is. So rather than go over everything that went wrong with this film I will instead point out 3 good things about it:

1) Robert Downey Jr. The challenge for any actor is too try and make the best out of the material presented which is exactly what RDJ did in this movie. A horribly thin plotline and thrown together script was made better by Robert immersing himself into his cocky character and playing it to the best of his ability. Without RDJ carrying this movie, this franchise would be as dead as Fantastic Four.

2) The allusion to the Avengers. Shield's Nick Fury (Samuel Jackson) returns along with Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and the first glimpse of Captain America's shield and Thor's hammer being revealed in the secret scene. Jackson of course played his character over the top which was refreshing when the film slowed to a grinding halt and Scarlett Johansson's widow is the hottest kick ass babe in years! BTW here's a first look at the Chris's (Evans and Hemsworth) in character for their 2011 releases.

3) The final battle. After suffering through 80 min of complete boredom I was relieved (in more ways than one) to see this movie end. The battle at Stark Expo was awesome with fantastic special effects running at a break neck pace. Thankfully the final battle focused on Iron Man , War Machine and the battle droids with Whiplash being dispatched of very quickly (seriously he's killed in like 2 minutes) which was a relief.

I KNEW there was a reason why I avoided seeing this film until its final week in the theater as it looked bad when I first saw the trailer last summer. Hopefully Iron Man 3 will make up for this mess and not turn into the fiasco that was Spiderman 3!

Summer TV Preview

2010-05-30T14:21:00.019-04:00

Judging by this list of new and returning shows this summer, I think that this could be the biggest summer season in the history of television (thanks recession). Get your DVR's ready as the new season kicks off this week!

JUNE
June 1
Hells Kitchen (FOX): gentlemen start your donkeys.

June 3rd
Burn Notice (USA): Season 4 brings a new series regular Coby Bell (3rd Watch) to the show and guest star Burt Reynolds as the original Michael Weston.

Royal Pains (USA): last years summer hit returns with Mark Feuerstein as the adorable Dr. Hank making housecalls in the Hamptons.

June 7
Persons Unknown (NBC): Alan Ruck (Cameron- Ferris Buellers Day Off), Kandyse Mcclure (Dee- BSG) and Jason Wiles (Colin- BH 90210) star as members of a group of people being held hostage in a ghost town.

June 9
You're Cut Off (VH1): have you ever wondered what would happen to rich spoiled brats (think Paris Hilton) whose parents decide to cut them off to learn valuable life lessons ... then this is the show for you.

June 10 Betthenny's Getting Married (Bravo): a Real Housewives of NY spin-off follows the most annoying and totally unmarried housewife as she prepares to walk down the aisle. Seriously, has anyone ever complained to the network about this character not being an actual housewife ... I mean Jo (LA cast) was at sort of a housewife (or sex slave) for Slade!

June 12
Beautiful People (Logo): this brilliant series is based on the memoirs of Barney's New York creative designer Simon Doonan and centers around his flamboyantly quirky childhood in rural Britain.

June 13
True Blood (HBO): new vamps, more shapeshifters, the Fae, Werewolves and a lot more nudity will make season 3 of this runaway hit its biggest season yet!

June 16
Hot in Cleveland (TVLand): what happens when you combine washed up actresses (Jane Leeves, Valerie Bertinelli and Wendy Malick) with one Betty White .. tune in and find out.

June 20
The Gates (ABC) finally a show about what really goes on behind those gated communities, Twilight + Desperate Housewives = CRAP.

Scoundrels (ABC) Virginia Madsen and David James Elliot (JAG) are the head of a crime family in this comedy. This show really should be entitled "scandalous" as David James Elliot was a last minute recast of the character when Neal McDonough was fired (yet again) when he refused (because of his catholic upbringing ... seriously?) to have on-screen simulated sex with Virginia Madsen (he did the same thing on Deperate Housewives with Nicolette Sheridan's character) !!

The Real L Word (SHO) a documentary series that follows the real world antics of lipstick lezzies.

June 22
Memphis Beat (TNT) Jason (My Name is Earl) Lee returns to tv as a quirky cop who loves Elvis and lives with his mother, also starring Alfre Woodard (doing double duty on True Blood) and DJ Qualls.

June 24
Rookie Blue (ABC) Missy Peregrym (Andie from Reaper) stars in this series about rookie cops learning the ropes.

Futurama (Comedy Central): after a 7 year hiatus Bender and company return with 22 brand new episodes! UP YOURS FOX, the fans have spoken!!

June 27
Entourage (HBO): season 7 opens with Vincent rethinking his career after suffering an injury on set.

Hung (HBO): season one .. mmmm ... not so great. Maybe season 2 will be better as Thomas Jane continues selling his biggest assest to wanton women. Actually, what would make this show more interesting and likely get me to watch is if he decided to start selling his junk to male clients!

June 28
Huge (ABC-Family): yet another show following the trials and tribulations of chubby teens trying to lose weight at fat camp... hello MTV did this years ago!!

JULY
July 9
Eureka (Sci-Fi): the 4th season of this cult hit will also be its longest as a full season 20 episode order was placed. James (Gaius Baltar) Callius joins the show as a former resident of the quirky town.

Haven (Sci-Fi): a series based on the Stephen King Novella "the Colorado Kid" about an FBI agent looking into supernatural shenanigans in of all places (being sarcastic here) Maine.

July 13
Warehouse 13 (Sci-Fi): last summer's sci fi hit returns with Myka and Pete collecting more strange artifacts.

White Collar (USA): the second season of this crime procedural with the sexy Matthew Bomer returns.

Covert Affairs (USA) a new spy drama brought to you by the creator of the "Jason Bourne" films stars Christopher Gorham (Popular/Ugly Betty) and Piper Perabo as rookie CIA agents.

July 14
Psych (USA): the final season wraps.

July 24
Being Human (BBC America): the second season of this supernatural UK hit debuts, but don't fear if you missed it the first time around, a season one marathon will run before season two starts.

July 25
Mad Men (AMC): the fourth season of the hit series will quickly wrap up all the loose ends including the resolution of the firm's fate.

July 29
Jersey Shore (MTV): the show relocates to Miami in a desperate stunt attempt to keep the show interesting. Honestly, after one hit season I find it completely unlikely that this show will be anything but a lame attempt at these idiots trying to act.

AUGUST
August 1
Rubicon (AMC) a conspiracy theory show featuring Miranda Richardson and James Badge Dale.

August 16
Weeds (SHO): season 6 moves to Seattle for half the year, as Nancy and company relocate after the shocking turn of events from last years finale unfold. Linda (Terminator) Hamilton joins the cast while Elizabeth Perkins "Celia" is slated to depart the show.

August 20
Kids in the Hall:Death Comes to Town (IFC) the boys are back for an eight episode series described as a Gothic murder mystery.

In the end it was that damned "Christian Shepard" that led them to the ever after.

2010-05-24T14:33:00.014-04:00

The best way that I would describe the final 2.5 hour event that Abrams/Lindeloff delivered last night is as follows: an anticlimactic, sloppy, directionless, train wreck, that went out with a whimper instead of a bang. In the end there still remained unanswered mysteries of life on Lost island as well as new questions presented that needed an explanation more substantial than relying on religious subtext to resolve them. Honestly, was it too much to expect creative individuals to formulate a journey with a cohesive beginning, middle and end?

Was there nothing more to it than what most of us during season one had speculated had happened, that "the survivors" had indeed died in the crash and that they were living in limbo, purgatory, or whatever the hell you want to call it? Could there not have been a plausible or concrete explanation (though I suspect that there never was one) for the purpose of the island, the others, Jacob or the man in black who by the way was never named? Are we really expected to believe that in the end it was all Jack's religious epiphany of a dream, a survival mechanism to help him get through a slow death in that cane field since he was the only survivor of that plane crash; wow if only we all had the ability to have such fantastical nightmares!

Or maybe it wasn't a dream ... maybe some people did survive and lived the life that was presented and that Jack's death was just part of the natural order of things, that the afterlife is one big waiting room that people of all faiths are put into when their time is up. Did anyone else find it disturbing that Sayid, Sun/Jin whose various faiths were presented on the show were in a christian church (see Jesus statue outside to confirm this) at the end of their lives awaiting the bright light at the end of the tunnel?

As an ardent follower of continuity in my television shows, the walk down memory lane during season six was highly appreciated yet underwhelming in the end. Bringing back the ghosts of Christmas past for the final episode while fun, was not enough to satisfy. Seriously, why bring Shannon and Boone back for only 2 lines of dialogue or feature Libby and Penny in the church scene but neither one speaking a word? Speaking of the church scene, was Jack's imagination not big enough to fill the church with all of the people he had encountered, where was everyone else at?

Characters that made an appearance recently like Daniel, Miles, Charlotte, Frank, Rousseau, Alex, Ana Lucia, Richard, or even Jacob in the end were mysteriously absent. Seriously if your going to go so far as to bring back the science teacher, Michael and Vincent the dog, the LEAST you can do is finish off the cast by including all the other 40+ survivors like Walt, Mr Echo, Nikki, Paolo and 20 random bodies to fill in those pews! Was no one else worthy of redemption or a heavenly afterlife?

I will concede that for as disjointed as the final episode was, it did deliver several classic heartfelt "lost moments" like the return of everyone's favorite couple Bernard and Rose, Charlie and Claire's flashbacks and most poignantly when Juliet and Sawyer were reunited. Can anyone tell me why Juliet and Sawyer are so damned tragic .. their "apollo bar" moment had me in tears! While these scenes were redemptive on an emotional level they were not enough to bring the show to a fitting close.

All in all while not the best of endings it wasn't necessarily the worst either although a substantive answer for the island's existence would have gone a LONG way. Had Lindeloff/Abrams been more aggressive and reunited ALL of their creations (was it that difficult to shoot the finale with all of the prior actors) for that final scene in the church or better yet if they had staged it on the beach (anyone familiar with that final shot in Longtime Companion .. heartbreaking) would I have had a misty eyed moment instead of an irritated look at the end.

The time has come for you to vent, convince me that the six year journey was worth the time invested in it.

Clash of the Titans: a review

2010-04-05T13:16:00.006-04:00

While many updates to 80's movie classics have failed in recent years, Clash of the Titans manages to deliver an entertaining experience in more ways than one. Unlike its cheesy predecessor that lacked a cohesive storyline, this version explains that the Greek Gods (Zeus in particular) have become angry at mankind for their lack of faith and why Perseus has an agenda against them when Hades kills his surrogate family. While the journey of Perseus is the focus of the film the underlying genesis of his adventure lies in the grudge match between Zeus and Hades with the latter seeking revenge (and throne of Olympus) against his brother for banishing him to the underworld, a tale that is more in line with Greek mythology and makes for a better story in the long run. Sam "avatar" Worthington is Perseus who instead of wearing a toga throughout the movie wears a tunic and armor that is more in line with the clothing from that period. His take on Perseus is less of a doe-eyed, bumbling himbo and more of the classic anti-hero warrior type that refuses to accept his destiny as a demigod. Liam Neeson is perfectly cast as Zeus as is Ralph Fiennes as Hades who clearly was channeling Voldemort throughout his scenes.

As far the movie goes it virtually followed all of the original events in roughly the same order including the giant scorpions (which by the way were awesome but still have no mythological basis), the encounter with the stygian witches, an updated version of Pegasus who is black instead of white and a significantly altered backstory to Calibos whose motivation for seeing Perseus dead were far more interesting than that ridiculous minotaur version of the character. Sadly Bubo fans will be disappointed as that character is MIA in the update, although he does briefly make a cameo that is quickly dismissed. Though really the only reason to go see this movie is for two characters that do not disappoint in their delivery- Medusa and the Kraken. Once again the superiority of CGI technology vividly brings to life these mythological creatures. Medusa looked less like a cartoon and more in line with Carvaggio's representation by having a human face surrounded with serpent hair although fear not fan boys, she still retains her snake body and rattling tail. On a side note , the path to finding Medusa required the group venturing into the underworld where the ferryman (who clearly was inspired by an Iron Maiden poster) shuttled them across the river styx. Of course none of the effects of the original movie could match the awesomely updated uber creature of Nordic mythology the Kraken which looked like a ten story Rancor on steroids than the creature from the black lagoon with 8 pack abs!

The supporting cast includes many of those "where have I seen them before" actors including Alexa Davalos (the corpse from the short lived FOX series Reunion) as Andromeda, who in this version was far less of a vacant vessel than her predecessor Judi Bowker was and two "Bond film" alumni Mads Mikkelesen (Le Chiffre- Casino Royale) as warrior Draco and Gemma Aterton (Strawberry Fields- Quantum of Solace) as Lo the immortal who guides Perseus along his destiny. Danny Huston (Col Stryker-Wolverine) is Poseidon who unfortunately in this version does NOT release the Kraken himself, Alexander Siddig (Dr Bashir-DS9) as Hermes who delivers the news to Zeus that one of his bastard children is alive in Argos, Hans Matheson (Thomas Cramer- The Tudors) as Ixas and Nicholas Hoult (Tony- Skins) as Eusebios the younger warriors of the search party. Of particular note here is Luke Evans (Apollo) who has been cast as Zeus in an unrelated sequel (?) coming out in 2011 that focuses on the war between the Gods and Titans entitled "War of the Gods" which in itself deserves its own blog entry.

All in all Titans satisfied on many levels and clearly left the prospect of a sequel on the table as Perseus refused to marry Andromeda and Zeus resurrected Lo to help him continue his journey. With several mythological creatures missing from this version including the Cerebrus, Griffon and the Hydra being mentioned a COT 2 is virtually guaranteed when this movie breaks a 100 million (which is likely based on the opening weekend). While not the caliber of film that 300 or the LOTR trilogy are, Titans is a fine entry into the fantasy film genre and superior to the original thanks to the updated special effects. I encourage any fan of the original to check it out but with a warning DO NOT pay to see this movie in 3-D; it was not filmed for 3-D but converted afterwards to extort more money from audiences.

Hot or Not: Sean Maguire

2010-03-02T12:45:00.008-05:00

Time to take a trip and see what the rest of the world has to offer in hot men, first stop on this vacation is the British Isles. Over the years, the UK has definitely produced its fair share of hot men including my personal favorites Clive Owen, David Beckham, and Gerard Butler (just to name a few) and it seems that the trend is likely to continue for the foreseeable future. First up to be judged based purely on his physical attributes is Essex native Sean Maguire. Shockingly my first introduction to Sean didn't come from his early career on Eastenders which transitioned into a brief career as a pop singer (as so many before him have done) but instead came from the 300 parody Meet the Spartans where this muscled stud stripped down to a loin cloth. If Sean looks familiar you might have caught him on the series Off Centre with John "Sulu" Cho or playing gay boy Kyle on The Class. His most recent stint was for the Comedy Central series Krod Mondoon and the Flaming sword which unfortunately flopped since it was a bit to britcom for comedy central audiences. Time to cast your vote: hot or not?

Hot or Not: Cheyenne Jackson

2010-02-25T10:40:00.005-05:00

This weeks entry is a fresh face to television who recently made his debut as the new cast member of the girly show aka 30 Rock, behold Cheyenne Jackson. Cheyenne (35) is an openly gay actor / Broadway babe who has been singing and dancing his way along the great white way for almost a decade now including a recent stint as the male lead in the remake of Xanadu which earned him a Tony nomination. His role as Canuck Danny while recurring at this point, will hopefully be a stepping stone to a larger role on the show or landing a feature film role. Time to vote: hot or not.

Hot or Not: Joe Mauer

2010-02-19T11:19:00.007-05:00

Dipping back into the wealth of hot athletes from around the world is a man who just may be the next coming of my beloved Brad Ausmus; presenting MN Twins catcher Joe Mauer. The 27 year old phenom has been making a name for himself in the AL for 5 years and having recently become a free agent has left his fans tongues wagging (mine too :). With his 6'5" 215lb frame of midwest man meat, piercing blue eyes, shaggy dark hair and poutty lips does it really get any better than this? Clearly I have already cast my vote time for you to decide Hot or Not?

Hot or Not: Nick Zano

2010-02-17T13:45:00.003-05:00

This next entry should spawn a few more hot comments although with the fickle bunch on here who knows how the vote will go. The next man up for judgment is Nick Zano, Haylie Duff's current squeeze and resident boy toy of several prime time series. Nick was a regular on the series What I like About you, had a recurring role on 7th Heaven, recently played Courtney Cox's play thing on Cougar Town and has played the jerk guy in several movies including The Final Destination (yes my recent nightmarish experience with that movie spawned this entry). With Melrose Place's resident hottie Colin Egglesfield on his way out (both he and Ashlee Simpson were cut) Nick is about to make a splash in the infamous building as Dr Drew Pragin. Alright the time has come for you to judge- Nick Zano hot or not?

True Blood: the who's who, what's what, and everything else that's been leaked

2010-02-12T15:34:00.011-05:00

As we are now a mere 4 months this Sunday away from the debut of Season 3, here's what you need to know. Season 3 will be loosely based on the events and include characters that were introduced in Club Dead, book 3 of the southern vampire series. This means that a good part of the season will be taking place away from bon temps as Sookie heads to Baton Rouge investigating Bill's sudden disappearance. Since the show cannot be sookie-centric (like the books) we will be treated this year to the expansion of several characters roles and introduced to other characters and settings (like the town of Hotshot) that were presented in later books.

Now that Sam has found out who his parents are, he will be leaving bon temps finding his less than receptive parents, a shape shifting younger brother and fending off sex dreams about Bill. Lafayette becomes more entwined with Eric/Pam, trafficking V, reuniting with his mother and finding hot papi love. Jason loses his mind, picks up Hoyt as a roommate, goes bed hopping (again) and falls in love with another freaky woman. Speaking of Hoyt while he and Jessica will be having some issues, they are not breaking up yet although both will soon be tempted by other suitors.

We will learn more about Bill's life before becoming a vampire and see further flashbacks with Lorena. Speaking of which, expect to see the return of a new & improved Lorena as Bill's life becomes more complicated during his captivity in Mississippi. This season will also be Eric heavy as he is expected to be in all 12 episodes including an Eric focused episode 5 that will be flashback heavy involving his parents and Godric. Grief stricken Tara will fall under the spell of an evil vampire, Pam will become a regular and Arlene finds herself knocked up.

Meet the new kids on the block:
Joe Manganiello is werewolf Alcide Herveaux

Brit Morgan is Alcide's ex Debbie Pelt

James Frain is vampire Franklin Mott, Tara's new squeeze

Lindsay Pulsipher is Crystal Norris (Jason's future wife)

Alfre Woodard is Ruby Jean Reynolds, Lafayette's long lost mama

Dawn Olivieri is Alcides sister Janice

Kevin Alejandro is Jesus Velasquez, Lafayette's new squeeze

Marshall Allman is Tommy Sam's brother

Grant Bowler is Coot a sadistic werewolf biker

Dennis O Hare is the vampire king Russell Edgington

Theo Alexander is Talbot, Russell's vampire boy toy

Natasha Alam is Yvetta, Eric's new stripper girlfriend

Episode synopsis:
3.1 Pack of Wolves: Coot and his biker gang of werewolves are first seen and Sam finds his long lost family.

3.2 Beautifully Broken: Franklin Mott and Crystal Norris arrive on the scene.

3.3 It Hurts me Too: Alcide's long awaited debut.

3.4 9 Crimes: Debbie Pelt arrives along with Alcide's big sis Janice.

3.5 Trouble: This is the episode that will focus on Eric's history including the return of Godric. The rumor mill was swirling that Stellan Skarsgard might play Ulfrick (Eric's father) but that was quickly dismissed by Stellan. Alexander in earlier interview has suggested that Stellan might be playing a larger role in the future possibly as Sookie's grandfather Niall. Col Flood the leader of the Baton Rouge werewolves debuts.

That's about it for now (though isn't this enough?) of course when more updates become available I will post them.

Hot or Not: Michael Rady

2010-02-12T15:19:00.005-05:00

Digging back into the category of "adorkable" I present our next man for judgment, Melrose Place's Michael Rady (Jonah). The 28 year old first made his acting debut as heartbreaker Kostas in the 2005 tween flick Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants followed up with roles on Swingtown and Greek before landing the "billy" character on the Melrose update. It's time to decide: hot or not.

The top 5 reasons why you should start watching Caprica

2010-02-11T13:07:00.010-05:00

#5 The acting talent is expanding with the addition of John Pyper Ferguson (Brothers & Sisters) as Tomas Vergis-Daniel Greystone's rival and William B Davis (X-Files CSM) as Caprica's minister of defense.

#4 The upping of the hottie quotient with the addition of Scott Porter (Friday Night Lights) as Nestor the boy toy of the picon love house, James "Spike" Marsters (BTVS) as Barnabas Greely- leader of the picon terrorist faction and Sasha Roiz (see reason 3) as Sam Adama the mafia-esque muscle guy from tauron.

#3 The gorgeous (okay he's frakin' hot) Sasha Roiz has gone from recurring character to series regular and just dropped a bombshell on us in Episode 2 "Reins of a Waterfall". For the first time on an American sci fi television series (Torchwood has already done it) we have a gay main character. Although BSG had one (Gaeta) his private life was never shown on the series only in the webisodes which caused great uproar amongst fans. The icing on the cake is that in the future ... err past .. gay marriage is a part of society as Sam's husband Steve was introduced last week!

#2 The direction of the show has vastly improved from the pilot movie by focusing on the dramatic elements, increasing character development, putting less emphasis on the irritating avatar turned cylon Zoe and blending futuristic technology with archaic devices such as cars, rotary phones and VCR's in the Caprica-verse.

#1 C'mon its Battlestar Galactica are you really ready to walk away yet?

It's not too late to start as the show is taking a break this week (for the opening ceremony of the olympics) so you can catch the pilot and first two episodes at sci-fi on demand or in random repeats on the Sci Fi channel and USA network.

Hot or Not: Bode Miller

2010-02-09T14:57:00.005-05:00

With the 2010 winter games being just around the corner I submit the next victim to be judged; skiing's poster child for bad boy behavior Bode Miller. In case you don't remember, during the 2006 games Bode acknowledged to Tom Brokaw that during the games he ran his races drunk saying that "I'm just trying to ski in a way that is exciting for me and that it had been an awesome 2 weeks partying and socializing at an olympic level". All I have to say to that is Michael Phelps eat your heart out. Bode your time has come to be judged by us: hot or not.

My love - hate relationship with LOST

2010-02-07T14:51:00.010-05:00

Alright so here's the deal ... I have watched LOST from day one and have been entertained off and on for the past 6 years, but if the season premiere is any indication for the direction of these final episodes then the show has officially worn out its welcome with me. After a stellar debut season then suffering through the tailies, the others and the time traveling debacle, last year seemed to have found its footing by grounding itself in the dharma initiative. Unfortunately after a terrific season finale including that gut wrenching farewell between Sawyer and Juliet (which replayed about 10 times before the premiere) this year began with what I like to call an oogie cheat. Turns out that yes Jack's plan to prevent the plane crash worked except that it spawned an alternate timeline scenario (real original Abrams ... recycling the Star Trek reboot much?) which is this year's concurrent story, the what if scenario ... fucking LAME!

While I appreciated the recreation of the plane ride and seeing the ghosts of Christmas past with Boone, Charlie, Claire, the stewardess, annoying guy, science teacher returning where the hell were Shannon, Michael, Walt, Paulo, Niki, or any of the tailies? Why was Desmond on the plane and why the fuck did Jack's hair not sync up to the buzz cut he had in season one?!? Anyway so it turns out that those who survived the island (the original crash victims) are still alive and well although a few more casualties can be added to the death count including Juliet (who had a brief reprieve in the first hour until V was renewed), Sayid who died but was miraculously resurrected in a pool of water (I'll get to that in a second) and Locke who has officially been outed as the smog creature aka Mr Black shirt who I shall call "Marley" (get it Jacob - Marley ha ha) since he has been unnamed.

So it turns out that Marley had a back up plan to come back from the dead and apparently so did Jacob who instructed Hurley to take the dying Sayid to the mysterious temple so that he could be resurrected as well. First of all wasn't the temple the lair of Marley as seen in the french woman's flashback? Second where did all these other "others" who live at the temple come from, weren't all the remaining others out on the beach with Richard or are these new people "others" at all? Anyway I think the mystery of eternal youth (like Richard not aging) has been solved as I believe that the pool of water Jacob/Sayid was resurrected in is the mystical "Fountain of Youth" which would explain how some people who have died on the island are miraculously resurrected or healed. Regarding these other others am I wrong here or did the flight attendant chick die in season two? I seem to recall seeing her briefly during the tailies storyline, but I thought that she was killed by Ethan or someone when the others attacked their camp one night and yet she is now hanging out with the temple people?

To say that the final season of Lost was irritating and unsatisfying is an understatement and yet isn't that the point of this show to illicit a response that keeps you watching? So as the final season gets underway I ask myself this question: will I still watch the show, the short answer is .. yes, will I be happy about it .. no, but I am intrigued to find out how crappy life would have been had the island inhabitants not landed on or ever gone there, as long as they cover ALL of the characters that have been introduced (the others,tailies, et al). Let the bullshit begin.

Hot or Not: Ben Foster

2010-02-07T13:38:00.003-05:00

Inspired by a recent viewing of the 2009 sci fi thriller Pandorum (which btw was a pretty decent flick) the next man to be superficially judged is Ben Foster a man of many different looks. If Ben seems familiar you may have seen him in any number of roles including Six Feet Under where he played Claire's psychoc artist boyfriend Russell or as the winged mutant Angel in X-Men 3. So you be the judge .. Hot or Not.

Hot or Not: Scott Brown

2010-02-01T16:50:00.009-05:00

Inspired by a ridiculously funny skit this past weekend on SNL and trying to keep this new feature from being limited to just actors my next submission is the senator-elect from MA Scott Brown. Remember as this is a superficial decision, you should base your responses on his sexual appeal not his politics. Check him out and tell me what you think

In case you missed it I have embedded the video here. However, it will not show up when facebook imports this entry so I guess you will just have to click through to my blog.

2010 at the movies

2010-01-28T15:15:00.027-05:00

Here's a rundown of the entertainment coming to a big screen near you in 2010. Of course this isn't everything but it gives you a good idea of what to expect this year- reboots, sequels and way too much 3-D.

February
Frozen: X-Men's Shawn Ashmore stars in this thriller set in (of all places) a ski lift chair ... yeah you heard right ... a ski lift chair. The premise: a trio of friends gets trapped atop a ski lift chair when the resort shuts down for a week leaving you to ponder the question what would you do in this situation. Sounds like an absurd idea for a movie then again Open Water was a hit, although that scenario is far more likely to happen. Apparently the movie is expected to deliver those squeamish feelings that you had during Cabin Fever (assuming you saw it).

The Wolfman: Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins and Emily Blunt star in this horror remake of the 1940's classic whose release has been pushed back for almost 2 years! I was highly skeptical when I first heard about this one, but then I saw the trailer and learned that the movie is set in 18th century Paris and suddenly it looks kinda good.

Percy Jackson & the Olympians- Lightning Thief: The original director of Harry Potter is hoping lightning will strike twice as he adapts yet another tween book series for the big screen. In this one a teenager discovers that his father is Poseidon which lands him in the middle of the ancient struggle amongst the greek gods. Sorry, but this one looks like a piece of crap kinda along the lines of that garbage Eragon.

March
Alice in Wonderland: A march opening is an incredibly odd time for a movie that could be a big hit but then again 300 opened in February. Tim Burton's bromance with Johnny Depp continues in the latest incarnation of Lewis Carroll's literary classic. I must confess that after seeing the trailer in front of Avatar it has moved up into my must see list for the year especially since it is in 3-D.

Clash of the Titans: did we really need a remake of the Harry Hamlin 80's cheese-fest? Like it or not its here and will likely attract an audience as Sam "avatar" Worthington stars as Perseus alongside Liam Neeson (Zeus) and Ralph Fiennes (Hades). Will I be there .. yes, will it be good .. doubtful.

April
Wall Street 2-Money Never Sleeps: speaking of awful remakes (actually this one is a sequel) comes a movie that one needs to ask themselves did it really need to be made? Oliver Stone is back in the directors chair and Michael "Gordon Gecko" Douglass returns to his infamous role. Unfortunately with Charlie Sheen MIA and Shia LaBeouf taking up the slack, I suspect greed will not be good.

A Nightmare on Elm Street: gotta be honest a reboot of one of my favorite horror villains starring Jackie Earle Haley sounds frakin awesome! Unfortunately the quality of these reboots varies substantially from great (Rob Zombie's Halloween) to shit (Friday the 13th). Can't wait to see how the infamous Johnny Depp scene will play out, speaking of which, rumor has it that he will be making a cameo.

May
Iron Man 2: has it been that long since the original movie came out that a sequel is already upon us? Robert Downey Jr returns as Tony Stark along with Gwyneth and a remarkably different Col James Rhodes donning the War Machine armor. Mickey Rourke is Whiplash (an obscure marvel-verse villain) and Scarlett Johansson is Black Widow. The first movie was great and sequels usually are better ... we shall see.

Robin Hood: Russell Crowe dons the tights last worn by Kevin Costner and Cate Blanchett is maid marion in this Ridley Scott update that is hoping to be one of this summer's blockbusters.

Shrek 4- Forever After: Shrek's back for what is apparently the final movie in the franchise. This time around the green ogre steps into an alternate reality and learns what life would have been like had he made different choices.

Prince of Persia-sands of time: Jake Gyllenhall steps into the video game character for this fantasy entry. With epic battles, mystical lands and a beefed up Jake G shirtless throughout you know I'll be there.

Sex and the City 2: another nightmare entry into the estrogen fest that won't die.

June
The A-Team: the TV mercenaries are back although I'm not really sure why since the show wasn't that big of a hit; even Bradley Cooper as face isn't enough to get me there.

The Karate Kid: the remakes continue with this nightmare starring Jackie Chan as the Mr Miagi character and Will Smith's son Jaden as the prodigy, YAWN.

Toy Story 3: beating a dead horse, then again so is another Shrek.

July
Twilight 3-Eclipse: twilight's are now coming every 6 months .. the world truly is coming to an end.

Predators: alien had its update now its predators turn with an eclectic cast including Adrien Brody, Laurence Fishburne and Topher Grace.

Inception: Christopher "batman" Nolan is back with a new thriller that not much has been released about. The cast includes Leo DiCaprio, Ellen Page, Michael Caine and Cillian Murphy.

September
Red Dawn: WOLVERINES .... yep that remake finally has a release date with Chris "star trek" Hemsworth as Jed. Could be fun but I suspect it will be crap.

October
Jackass 3-D: more junk jumping on the 3-D bandwagon.

Saw 7: the franchise that will never end.

November
Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows 1: the end begins with what is sure to be one of the top grossing films of 2010. Year 7 finds Harry and his cohorts leaving the mystical world of Hogwarts and embarking on a journey across the UK to avenge Dumbledore's death and defeat Voldemort once and for all.

Hot or Not: Allan Hyde

2010-01-28T11:00:00.015-05:00

A friend of mine has inspired me to begin a regular feature for my blog that rates male celebrities (past and present) on their hotness factor. My first completely random entry, is the totally adorkable danish actor Allan Hyde who recently played the 2000 year old tragic vampire Godric on season two of True Blood. Check him out and tell me what you think.

New Year New TV

2010-01-25T12:39:00.008-05:00

Gary's recent defection back to 24 and the debut of several new and noteworthy shows has forced my hand in finally creating this entry. Here is a rundown of all the new TV coming to our televisions in 2010.

January
Human Target (FOX): based on a DC comic book series starring Mark Valley as Christopher Chance a former spy who now works in the private sector; also stars Chi McBride (pushing daisies) and Jackie Earl Haley (watchmen) as the sidekicks. Judging by the first few episodes the show has a good chance of success, its on my must see list.

Archer (FX): crass cartoon series about a boozing, trigger happy spy who works for his mother (voiced by Lucille Booth aka Jessica Walter ) at the ISIS agency.

Burn Notice (USA): this summer staple is back for its 11 episode winter run, the first episode was fun as it featured a Cagney and Lacey reunion with Tyne Daly appearing.

Caprica (Sci Fi): the battlestar Galactica spin-off prequel began with an incredibly lame pilot, weak plot and uninteresting characters. I will give it 2 episodes to attract my interest.

Chuck (NBC): talk about beating a dead horse. C'mon Chuck was fun in its first season but has limped along since. Thanks to the Leno debacle the show gets a full season which hopefully will be its last.

Life Unexpected (CW): Shiri Appleby (Roswell) has now reached an age to play a mother on TV in this melodramatic new series about an orphan who seeks out her long lost daddy; also stars Kerr Smith (Dawsons Creek).

The Deep End (ABC): Billy Zane , Matt Long (Jack & Bobby/ Ghostrider) and Mechad Brooks (eggs from True Blood) star as young horny lawyers.

Spartacus (Starz): Starz version of Rome starring Lucy Xena Lawless. Interesting concept on the wrong network, seriously who subscribes to Starz????

True Beauty (ABC): the reality series returns for a second season where judges decide who the beautiful people are.

Kitchen Nightmares (FOX): Ramsey is back digging up more vile restaurants in America for us to cringe at.

Damages (FX): Glenn close and company return.

February
Lost (ABC): the final season is here with all of the original cast members returning and maybe even a few tailies in the mix.

Dr Who (BBCA): David Tennants final season debuts before yet another doctor takes over.

Lawman (FX): Deadwood alum Timothy Olyphant stars as a US Marshall sent to Kentucky to flush out the meth head trash.

March
Day One (NBC): Carly Pope (popular) returns to TV as one of a group of survivors from an LA apartment who struggle to make sense of an apocalyptic event. Wouldn't hold out much hope for this one since it has been pushed back from its Sept 2009 debut.

Parenthood (NBC): based on THAT Ron Howard movie starring Craig T. Nelson as the patriarch of a highly dysfunctional family and Peter Krause playing Steve Martin's role.

Sons of Tucson (FX): Tyler sock Labine's new show.

V (ABC): if the alien invasion actually gets moving it could be fun.

Friday Night Lights (NBC): will this show ever end?

April
The Tudors (SHO): the final season debuts with Henry's final two wives including Joely Richardson as Catherine Tate. There is no need to fret however as a replacement series has been ordered that looks to be even juicier: the Borgia's has been announced starring Jeremy Irons as the patriarch of the infamous Italian family who rise to power during the Renaissance; with Neil Jordan directing the series it sound awesome!

Miami Medical (CBS): the ever sexy Jeremy Northam (Tudors) stars as a trauma doctor operating in Miami.

June
True Blood (HBO): the most anticipated show for 2010 returns with a new cast of characters that could overshadow the events portrayed in Club Dead and diminish Sookie's role on the show!

Debut Unknown.
Happy Town (ABC): a twin peaks type show starring Steven Weber, Amy Acker and Sam Neill.

Rubicon (AMC): a new conspiracy thriller with Lili Taylor and Miranda Richardson.

True Blood: casting ideas for season 3 & beyond ..

2009-10-16T13:48:00.033-04:00

As filming for season 3 of True Blood is scheduled to begin in a few months and casting is underway for several major roles that would evolve over subsequent seasons here are some realistic choices that have yet to be mentioned in the countless lists of unrealistic expectations that I have seen on many other sites; c'mon Christina Ricci as Debbie .. not gonna happen. These choices were based on the characters physical descriptions from the books, their past roles on other shows, the likelihood of their availability to join the cast and a fan base that they could bring with them.

As bookies are well aware, the biggest character to be cast for season 3 (Club Dead) is Alcide Herveaux. The beefy, hot headed werewolf from Baton Rouge who becomes a love interest for Sookie is a major character throughout the series that should be cast very carefully, particularly since the jury is still out on the choice of Evan Rachel Wood as Queen Sophie Anne.

Alcide-
Jamie Bamber (battlestar galactica): He's got the look, is the right age and would fit into the cast well. Alan Ball already took a chance with another Brit (Stephen Moyer) and it paid off. Jamie has a large fan following which could translate into a bigger audience for the show. His recent guest appearance on Dollhouse further solidifies him as a darling in the scifi/fantasy genre of American television. Unfortunately I read somewhere that Jamie is now leading the cast in a British version of Law and Order which could conflict.

Henry Cavill (the tudors): yet another british babe, Henry has quietly been building a loyal American fan base these past few years as the swarthy Charles Brandon on Showtime's The Tudors. A combination of good looks, sex appeal and ability to deliver in dramatic roles should put him at the top of the list. With the Tudors about to wrap by January, he likely would be available for True Blood.

Mark Deklin (life on mars, desperate housewives): as Alan Ball has a penchant for hiring unknown actors, Deklin is the ideal candidate. Physically he is perfect for the role, has an incredibly sexy voice and has been doing guest appearances in dramatic television roles for years. If he looks familiar you might remember him from his stint as the spokesman for subaru commercials which ran back in 2007-08.

Peter Facinelli (twilight): physically ideal, Peter could easily step into the role and hiring him would be a coup as he could bring his twilight fans with him.

Joe Flannigan (stargate atlantis): While not as physically big as the other guys, his likability and fanbase from stargate should make him a dark horse contender.

Christian Kane (angel,leverage): Christian has the attitude, the physical qualities and accent to pull off the character. However if leverage is picked up for next summer there would be a conflict in shooting schedules which would take him out of the running.

Wes Ramsey (csi miami/charmed): Wes has never really had a chance to step up in a leading role and this could be his chance to shine. While physically he fits the description of the character,he could be a bit young for the role. His television experience is extensive and his film roles including the seduction of a mormon missionary in the film Latter Days should get Alan Ball's attention.

Paul Telfer (hotel babylon): Other than Anna Paquin, the rest of the cast from True Blood were virtual unknowns when the show debuted. Alan Ball seems to like this aspect when casting and Paul Telfer fits into that mold perfectly. This hunky brit fits Alcide's physical description and could easily give Alexander Skarsgard a run for the money as the sexiest man on the show. Fantasy television fans will remember Paul in the miniseries Hercules which ran on NBC in 2006.

Debbie Pelt-
Lauren Ambrose (6ft under): Lauren has been MIA since Six Feet Under wrapped and is another actress looking for a comeback since FOX failed to air her last series Return of Jezebel James in 2008. While we have yet to see her play a bitch character she did have her moments on Six Feet Under and her history with Alan Ball could give her an edge.

Tammy Lynn Michaels (popular): bookies when you think of who would make the perfect psycho bitch (as Debbie is described in the books), the first person that came to my mind was Tammy aka Nicole Julian from Popular. I think that she is the perfect choice to play the character on so many levels. Physically she fits Debbie's description, has already played a similar role and is ripe for a TV comeback!

Parker Posey (party girl): Parker is no stranger to vampires since she played one in Blade 3, nor is she a stranger to series television as she was the other 1/2 of the unaired series with Lauren Ambrose. Posey has shown in the past that she can play a raging bitch, has a large fan base that would follow her to the show and having another well known actress would make the show must see for season 3.

Quinn-
Ben Browder (stargate): a random choice to play Quinn would be Ben Browder. He is physically fit enough to play the character, is likeable and has a fan base that he could bring with him to the show.

Dominic Purcell (prison break): dominic was the first and frankly the only actor I thought of when I think of casting for Quinn. He physically is THE perfect specimen to play him and has the alpha male qualities of the were-tiger. Dominic is no stranger to the world of vampires since he played the king of vampires in Blade Trinity.

Calvin Norris-
Jeffrey Dean Morgan (supernatural): is there really any other actor more perfect than Morgan as the leader of the outcasts from Hotshot? Although he has been mentioned repeatedly for the role of Alcide he is WAY to old for that role now.

Claudine-
Nadia Bjorlin (days of our lives): based on the description I think that Nadia is a perfect choice as sookie's fairy godmother / cousin. Incidentally casting her with Brandon would be a clever move as they are a couple in real life; its sick how physically perfect those two are together.

Zooey Deschanel (weeds): quirky Zooey is no stranger to cable TV and her versatility at playing different characters makes her a candidate to take on the role of Claudine or Amelia. Since Claudine is not a major character getting the busy Zooey for the role wouldn't be all that hard.

Michelle Ryan (bionic woman): this british babe is no stranger to the fantasy genre, playing roles on Dr Who, Merlin and of course Bionic Woman. Physically ideal for the role and virtually unknown to American audiences she could be a good fit.

Claude-
Brandon Beemer (bold and the beautiful): Frankly Brandon is the perfect choice to play the other half of the fairy twin cousins of Sookie. He physically fits the description of the character perfectly and since Ball has used a soap actor before (Daphne) I don't see any reason not to cast another one.

Matt Dallas (kyle xy): while not as perfect as Brandon, Matt is a close second. With a fan following and continued roles in fantasy television (Kyle XY, Eastwick) he would be an ideal candidate.

Amelia-
Carly Pope (popular): if you were going for an edgier version of the character look no further than another Popular alum Carly Pope. She would bring a nice contrast to Sookie's good girl image and could definitely pull off the brief lesbian fling that Amelia had with Pam.

Progress Report: Fall 2009

2009-10-15T15:21:00.009-04:00

Six weeks into the fall season and still many shows have yet to return or debut on the networks, what's up with that? Irregardless here's a rundown of what I have seen so far, some are faring well far more than others.

Sunday
The Simpsons: 20 years on the air and every episode this season so far has been a remake of earlier one using a different character. Two decades is enough, its time for the show to end.
Grade- D.

The Cleveland Show: Horrendously awful cartoon attempting to hijack the audience from Family Guy. Why is FOX kissing Seth Macfarlane's ass so much, Family Guy is doing alright, American Dad is awful and yet they gave him another 1/2 hour of programming??
Grade- F.

Family Guy: You either hate it or love it, but the Griffins are pretty fun to watch. The premiere with Stewie and Brian jumping into different universes (particularly the Disneyverse) was genius. This season we will also be treated to not one but two Star Wars parodies and I've read that Indiana Jones is next .. can't wait. Yep that is the BluRay for the as yet to be seen Empire episode which is already scheduled for release in December.
Grade- B.

Monday
Heroes: It's time for this one to end as I can't even feign interest in it any longer. Claire cut her hair, kissed a girl and rushed a sorority and still all of that makes her uninteresting. An amnesiac Sylar is doing double duty as Nathan (who cares). Hiro is dying.. not soon enough. Peter is a paramedic racing around the city saving people, while at the same time trying to cover up his secret identity from his partner; could NBC rip itself off anymore from last summer's failed series The Listener? Even the addition of the strange Carnivale characters just aren't enough to make this show interesting any longer, it's time to kill the cheerleader destroy the world.
Grade- D.

Gossip Girl: Season 3 and the show is beginning to wear thin. The love child reveal was boring, Georgina's time was all too short lived, Blaire attempting to recreate her "queendom" at NYU is ludicrous, and Dan being clueless about his new girlfriend (Hilary Duff) being an infamous actress is just stupid. Unfortunately I have nothing else to watch on Mondays so I'll still keep plugging along hopefully it will get better particularly with Chuck going gay soon.
Grade- C.

Tuesday:
90210: The worst show from last year has jumped up several grades with the reduction of the parents as main characters, moving the family into a real home, dumping Ethan, adding hotties Teddy and Liam, making Silver a mean girl and "emily valentining" out Annie into one crazy bitch.
Grade- C.

Melrose Place: I had my doubts at the beginning but Melrose has quickly become the guiltiest pleasure of this TV season. The characters with the exception of Auggie (Colin Egglesfield) are beginning to flesh themselves out even the wretchedly cutesy Jonah and Riley are coming into their own now that she has become a fashion model and he keeps taking his shirt off. Ella is a carbon copy of Amanda and I love it, I can't wait for the fireworks when Amanda Woodward (Heather Locklear) returns to the show in November. I suspect Amanda is going to be the W of Ella's employer the WPK talent agency which should be good. Shockingly, the character and person I hated the most on the show (Ashlee Simpson/Violet) has become my favorite; she's a complete psycho bitch like her mother Sydney and I can't wait to find out what she's going to do next.
Grade- B+.

Sons of Anarchy: If you have never seen the show before, now would be a good time to start watching (season 1 is on dvd and season 2 is on FX on demand). Who would have thought that a TV show about a motorcycle gang could become one of the best dramas on TV. Anarchy is a fascinating, engaging layered drama with memorable characters and terrific acting that are worth investing TV time in.
Grade- A.

V: cancelled before it even airs, why ABC has begun promoting now is beyond me. Just as I suspected would happen after reporting in my fall preview that production on the show had shut down, comes this news that ABC plans to air ONLY 4 episodes in November with little hope of the back 9 ever seeing the light of day, WTF? They should have just turned this mess into a miniseries.

Wednesday:
The Beautiful Life: this is one I can gloat over by saying "I Told You So".
Grade- F.

Eastwick: Yes, I panned this show in my fall review but decided too tune in anyway. While not the best television its actually kind of fun to watch and although I don't usually go for "chick shows" this one seems to not dwell that much on the estrogen. I suspect however that I have ulterior motives for watching as the man candy quotient is high including Matt Dallas (Kyle XY), Esotnian import Johan Urb (who could give Alexander Skarsgard a run for the money) and the devil himself Paul Gross (Tales of the City/Due South) who although isn't as sexy as he was 15 yrs ago does have the sexiest voice on TV.
Grade- B-.

Thursday:
Vampire Diaries: nowhere near as interesting as True Blood or for that matter Twilight, this latest entry into the world of vampires falls short on so many levels at holding my interest. While Damon (Ian Somerhalder) is nice to look at, he is horrible as a villainous vampire and his little brother Stefan is dull as dirt. The rest of the cast is completely uninteresting and the recent discovery of Bonnie's witchy abilities still may not be enough to save this one.
Grade- D.

Flash Forward: Definitely NOT must see TV. The pilot was okay but all shows fail in comparison after LOST did it. The current characters are not all that compelling and the mysterious plot is lacking in interest. Recently, it's beginning to look like the cast is starting to expand which hopefully will breathe some new life into this lifeless show.
Grade- C.

Community: While the pilot had some chuckles, the series turned out to be dull and boring. As I suspected Chevy Chase is a severe drag on the show and Joel McHale is really not that funny.
Grade- D.

Supernatural: The final apocalyptic season is off and running. The devil has arrived and the archangels are lining up for the final battle pitting Dean and Sam against each other. Witty dialogue, classic rock music and a keen sense of irony are still keeping this show fresh in its last year.
Grade- B.

Fringe: The sophomore season of this X-files revamp is off to a great start. The Leonard Nimoy alternate-verse is an interesting twist carried over from last season and the goo factor of scientific experiments run amok has increased, although the show is really treading thin on being a carbon copy of the X-Files with the recent discovery of the super soldier's from the alternate earth.
Grade- B.

The Mentalist: Simon Baker and company return for a second season of sleuthing in Sacramento. How this was CBS's number one show for last year is beyond me, although Simon Baker is enjoyable to look at. Apparently the city of Sacramento is paying for the show to film there now since there are so many scenes being filmed around the city. I keep expecting to see the Augustas or Jen walk by for a scene filmed in front of the capitol.
Grade- B.

Friday:
Smallville: I think I'm the only that has ever or still watches this show, I can't help it I love comic book characters. This "final" season (maybe) is struggling along to come up with a cohesive storyline that involves Clark becoming the "Dark Knight" of Metropolis (he's wearing an all black outfit with a blue chest emblem and trenchcoat), finding out how to work in his biggest nemesis Zod into the show and keeping itself from turning into Lois and Clark.
Grade- D.

Dollhouse: this show is so confusing that I'm shocked that Fox renewed it for another season. With the season 2 premiere debuting with the lowest ratings ever and it going on hiatus for baseball playoffs, I suspect that cancellation is right around the corner. Summer Glau's highly anticipated debut likely will never see the light of day. Note to Joss Whedon stop trying to recreate Buffy and Firefly.
Grade- D-.

Medium: Other than the show taking on the CBS glow affect (why does CBS put that filter on shows?) the Dubois are kicking along albeit with Alison and Ariel's new pixie haircuts. The show has never really been a big draw for me just mindless familiar viewing to watch.
Grade- C.

Stargate Universe: Take 2 parts BSG, 1 part Star Trek, 1 part Stargate mix together with some decent acting and you get a show that could fill in the void that Battlestar has left. As I have never been a fan of the stargate-verse I was hesitant but gave it a shot anyway and I am glad I did. The show focuses not on the stargate per se, but on the struggles of refugees struggling to get home aboard a broken down spaceship (sound familiar?). If it worked once it should work again.
Grade- B.

Rising Stars: The Hotties of Fall 2009

2009-09-07T16:20:00.013-04:00

5 Chris Riggi (Scott- Gossip Girl)
As Serena and Dan's recently discovered half brother Scott, newcomer Chris Riggi is set to make a splash on season 3 of Gossip Girl. So will Rufus and Lily's love child be the all American good guy reuniting with his long lost family or an evil hell spawn bent on revenge for being abandoned as a baby; my bet is on the later particularly with Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg) checking out of Gossip Girl and into Mercy Hospital after episode 3.

4 Trevor Donovan (Teddy- 90210)
Seriously way to pretty for his own good best describes 90210's new heartthrob Teddy. Primetime newcomer Trevor Donovan began his illustrious career stripping down for the pages of Abercrombie and Fitch catalogs followed by a brief stint on Days of our Lives in the summer 2008 as Jeremy Horton. In what seems like a last ditch effort for the floundering show to find their Dylan (since Dustin Milligan's Ethan didn't work out) Teddy arrives in town with surfboard and vintage car in tow to save the day. With his insane hotness, blue eyes, blond hair and washboard abs Trevor could give the show a much needed boost, I'll definitely be watching.

3 Colin Egglesfield (Auggie- Melrose Place)
Next up is former male model (aren't they all) and All My Children's evil hunk-du-jour (Josh Madden the previously thought aborted child of Erica Kane) who will be making his primetime splash in the updated version of Melrose Place (basically the new Jake). Unlike pretty boy Trevor (who really has no talent but looks damn pretty), Colin actually has some talent beyond just being eye candy, unfortunately being in a remake of Melrose Place isn't a great career move.

2 Matthew Bomer (Neal- White Collar)
After suffering several hiccups in his brief acting career including the short lived summer series Traveler, a massive blow for a movie career when Superman Returns changed directors (he was cast as Clark Kent) and a recurring role on Chuck, Matthew takes front and center on his first series. With a quirky premise and debuting on the USA network which has been rolling out the hits recently, Matthew may finally move into the drivers seat of his career after taking the backseat in so many other roles.

1 Ian Somerhalder (Damon- The Vampire Diaries)
From the short lived WB series Young Americans, a recurring role on Smallville (as the once presumed Batman until the movie was announced), a leading role in the the Rules of Attraction, to original castaway Boone on LOST, if anyone on this list deserves to be the breakout star of this year it would be Ian Somerhalder. It shocks me that after a career seemingly on the fast track when Rules became a cult hit and Lost was the number one show on TV that getting killed off would stall his career for 4 years; such is the curse of LOST being career suicide (anyone remember the chick that played his sister on the show?). Fortunately it looks like Ian may have scored TV gold on The Vampire Diaries, thanks to Twilight and True Blood resurrecting the genre. With Ian's dark brooding good looks and playing the bad boy vamp, he's surely set to take off.

To see more pics (particularly of the insanely hot Trevor Donovan) follow this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/42284777@N06/

Fall Preview Part 2: The veterans

2009-08-28T14:57:00.019-04:00

When you see the massive casualty list (at the end of this post) it's shocking that so many shows made it through to this year. But nonetheless here's a rundown of some shows returning to primetime that entertain and irritate the senses. If you don't see a show listed here its likely because I am not familiar with and thereby don't have an interest in covering (sorry gary How I met your Mother tidbits are not here).

Returning shows 2009-10

SUNDAYS
The Simpsons Sept 27th FOX
Okay is there really any reason to hate or love this show anymore?

Family Guy Sept 27th FOX
The highly anticipated sequel to "Blue Harvest" FINALLY will see the light of day this season as both Empire and Jedi get stewied this year. The Empire parody entitled "Something Something Something Dark side" will be on for the holidays and the Jedi spoof "We Have a bad Feeling about this" shows up for May sweeps. Since the family guy stable of characters is limited and the Star Wars verse expanded with each movie characters from American Dad and the Cleveland Show will be crossing over to fill in the gaps.

Desperate Housewives Sept 27th ABC
Now that Nicolette Sheridan's Edie is dead is their really ANY reason to watch this estrogen fest any longer??

Brothers and Sisters Sept 27th ABC
How this trainwreck managed to get another season is beyond me.

Dexter Sept 27th SHO
Season 4 finds Dex in a family way with a new baby. So how can our killer get the job done, well with a new serial killer (John Lithgow) in town along with the return of special agent Lundy (Keith Carradine) Dex will have his hands full. Not to worry I'm sure our favorite anti-hero will find a way.

MONDAYS
Heroes Sept 21st NBC
Bryan Fuller the original creator of the show, who briefly came back last year to make the show more interesting has left the building for good .. great. With that said season 4 (quite possibly its last) will focus on the heroes attempts to lead normal lives which they better get cracking at since they do not have a full season commitment. Claire goes to college, sylar will be fading in and out of being Nathan Petrelli and Matt is looking to create a new life with his ex. New faces include Robert Knepper (Prison Break) as the leader of a gang of super powered carny folk, Ray Wise (Darth Maul/X-men's Toad) as his minion and ghostbuster Ernie Hudson as a cop hunting them. As a glutton for punishment I'll be watching to the bitter end.

One Tree Hill Sept 14th CW
After 7 years and the departure of Chad Michael Murray why would anyone continue watching?

Gossip Girl Sept 14th CW
Thankfully the show decided not to re-write history by having the brats repeat their Junior year. Season 3 opens up with most of the crew attending NYU and Columbia and I suspect Serena will drop out of Brown sooner than later to go chasing her father. As 90210 did, the core group will expand their relationships by interacting with new people including Hilary Duff chasing Dan, Joanna Garcia as Nates new squeeze and a brief return of Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg jumped ship ..bad move). Expect Chuck to go gay .. briefly with an onscreen kiss with freshman advisor Josh Ellis, but unlike his character in the books (who comes out of the closet) this Chuck will remain firmly hetero (sorry Nate). Gina Torres (Firefly) joins the show as Vanessa's mom, Rufus and Lily's love child Scott (seen in the finale) will hook up with Vanessa to learn more about his parents and Lil J becomes Queen B. With so much going on GG is looking to be a lot more fun this year.

Castle Sept 21st ABC
The adorable Nathan Fillion finally managed to squeak out a second season on a show (yeah) to bad I don't watch it.

TUESDAYS
90210 Sept 8th CW
Ethan is out and new Hottie Teddy (Trevor Donovan former AnF model and DOOL alum) is in as the new meat in town. Annie goes even crazier after running someone over while drunk, then later will have a scandal involving naked online pics (sounds exciting doesn't it?). Once again the show lacks direction as I've read that the show is looking to go darker, then another article claims it wants to be the west coast Gossip Girl. In other words expect one big mess.

Sons of Anarchy Sept 8th FX
The best show you're not watching turns up the heat in season two with white supremacists Adam Arkin and Henry Rollins moving into town and harrassing Samcro for selling weapons to the local gangs.

Hell's Kitchen Sept 29th FOX
How much more of the donkey's can we take? Another season- debuting on the heals of the summer one- which debuted on the heals of the spring season .. 1 full of year of Ramsey is more than enough.

WEDNESDAYS
Nip Tuck Oct 14th FX
After last years debacle of a season will anyone still be watching?

THURSDAYS
Bones Sept 17th FOX
After last years fantasy season finale, the show has officially "jumped the shark". Booth will emerge from the coma with some amnesia issues requiring guest star psychic Cyndi Lauper's assistance.

Fringe Sept 17th FOX
Expect the second season to be freakier and more confusing as we learn more about the alternate universe seen in the season finale. Leonard Nimoy returns as mega mogul William Bell who lives in the alternate universe where the twin towers still stand, the white house is being rebuilt and Peter's (Joshua Jackson) birth cetificate resides.

Supernatural Sept 10th CW
Rumor is that season 5 is the final year and the show creators are going out big. Unlike so many other shows in the genre which tease at the apocalypse, season 5 will open at the dawn of it when lucifer rises from hell. Mark Pelligrino (Lost's Jacob) steps into the infernal role as a smooth talking devil who has a bone to pick with the monkeys that have destroyed the planet. Besides Castiel more archangels surface and characters from the past return, no word yet on whether Papa Winchester (jeffrey dean morgan) will return.

The Mentalist Sept 24th CBS
CBS's number one show returns with Simon Baker and company solving murder mysteries.

Grey's Anatomy Sept 24th ABC
Izzy lives but does anyone still watch this?

30 Rock Oct 15th NBC
Liz Lemon and company return earlier than normal this year (normally the show comes back in November).

FRIDAYS

Dollhouse Sept 25th FOX
The show that I and apparently FOX had little faith in receives a reprieve that is expected to build off the momentum generated by the unaired season finale. Epitaph One (aka ep 13) did more than just end the season on a cliffhanger it fast forwarded the show in time, introduced new characters and changed the floundering direction of the show. Joss Whedon gets his wish of reuniting many of his favorite actors from his other shows and retains creative control now that FOX execs have taken their nose out of it. Eliza Dushku (BTVS's Faith) returns along with several other "whedon-verse" favorites including Amy Acker (Angel's Fred), Alan Tudyk (Firefly's Hoban) and new additions Summer Glau (Firefly's River), Alexis Denisof (BTVS/Angel's Wesley) and Felicia Day (BTVS's Vi). The BSG alum ratio also increases this year as Tahmoh Penikett (Helo) and Michael Hogan (Tigh) will reunite with Jamie Bamber (Apollo) in the season premiere. Now that Adam Baldwin (Firefly's Cobb) has departed Chuck can he be far behind? You were right Jen I should have been watching .. I will this year.

Smallville Sept 25th CW
Season 9 is going for broke (can you believe this show has been on since 2000?) when the man of Steel's ultimate foe General Zod debuts in the form of Callum Blue (Dead Like Me's Mason). Also lined up for this final season (or not) are Brian Austin Green as Metallo, the JSA and ughh the Wondertwins: form of David Gallagher (7th Heaven's Simon) shape of Alison Scaglioti (Warehouse 13's Claudia). Expect Clark to don a superman outfit (not the tights), take flight (I wouldn't hold my breath), and likely see a cameo by Lex Luthor (since Michael Rosenbaum's career has gone nowhere).

Medium Sept 25th CBS
After NBC dumped the show, CBS was quick to pick up the pieces and pair it with the wretched Ghost Whisperer. While never being the most compelling show its just always been on and I'll be tuning back in to watch. Expect to see a Halloween episode this year involving Night of the Living Dead, as NBC has never done one because of the show being a midseason replacement.

Ugly Betty Oct 9th ABC
The show has officially been put out to pasture on friday night and I say good riddance. Other than Betty getting her long overdue makeover nothing else is worth mentioning here.

MIDSEASON REPLACEMENTS
Chuck NBC March 2010
How this one got saved from the chopping block I'll never know, but mr Bartowski and company return for a 13 episode run next March that might possibly (if ratings improve) extend through the summer. Now that Adam Baldwin is dead and Matthew Bomer has moved on enter superman himself Brandon Routh as Chuck's new mentor. How ironic that he would end up on this show after Bomer leaves considering that Bomer was originally cast as the new Superman when Brett Ratner was directing the movie.

LOST ABC January 2010
Lost comes back to planet earth (sort of) as the time traveling ended in last years finale. With only 18 episodes left the show is looking to go out with a bang by wrapping up loose ends, giving the characters an ending and revisiting characters that were thought to be dead: Boone, Claire, Charlie, Juliet, Libby, Farraday, even Greg Grunberg as the pilot who the smoke monster killed. I have yet to read if any of the tailies will return but at the end anything is possible.

Friday Night Lights NBC Summer 2010
The little engine that could keeps on chugging along albeit less and less frequently.

Day One NBC Winter 2010 (after the olympics)
After an apocalyptic event occurs a group of survivors in LA learn how to survive and rebuild their lives.

Parenthood NBC Winter 2010
Ron Howard brings his movie to the small screen 20 years later with Peter Krause fresh off DSM and the return of Craig T Nelson as the family's patriarch.

Human Target FOX Winter 2010
Mark Valley (Fringe) is a private contractor who uses himself (literally as a human shield) to protect clients. Supporting cast includes Chi McBride (Pushing Daisies) and Jackie Earle Haley (Watchmen).

Sons of Tuscon FOX March 2010
Fresh off of the defunct Reaper Tyler Labine (aka sock) plays a con man who moves in with a family and takes over for an absent father.

Scrubs ABC March 2010
With only 2 of the original characters returning, the show moving out of the hospital and into a medical school this one looks to be beating a dead horse. Zach Braff will make several cameos but seriously question why this one is still on and Reaper was cancelled.

The Tudors SHO March 2010
The final season debuts in the spring and will showcase Henry's madness and his last two wives.

Futurama Comedy Winter 2010
Futurama returns for a brand new season next year.

True Blood June 2010
The massively popular vampire series was renewed for season 3 which is expected to follow the events of Club Dead and possibly Dead and Gone.

Here's the casualty list from last year:
ABC
According to Jim
Boston Legal
Dirty Sexy Money
Eli Stone
Life on Mars
Pushing Daisies
The Unusuals
Samantha Who

CBS
Eleventh Hour
The Ex List
The Unit
Without a Trace

Fox
Prison Break
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
King of the Hill
Mad TV

NBC
Crusoe
Kings
Life
ER
Lipstick Jungle
My Own Worst Enemy
Knight Rider
My Name is Earl
Kath and Kim

The CW
Privileged
Reaper
Everybody hates Chris

Sci Fi
Battlestar Galactica
Stargat Atlantis

TLC
Trading Spaces

Fall Preview Part 1: The Rookies

2009-08-27T14:20:00.022-04:00

Here we go again. I swear to Buddha this time of year comes faster and faster as I get older. Once again Sci-Fi and Fantasy shows dominate the new entries as everyone is looking for the next Heroes, LOST or True Blood; too bad most of them will never see a complete season before cancellation. Let's dissect the latest offerings for the 2009-2010 season. (note- cast pictures and embedded links for the previews do not show up on the FB feed click through to the original post to watch).

5 NIGHTS A WEEK
Premiere Sept 14th NBC
The Jay Leno Show: WORST IDEA EVER. The cheap f*cks over at the peacock decided to dump 5 hrs of programming a week with this hail mary to save some money .. LAME. Seriously, if they love Leno so much why didn't they just keep him on the Tonight Show? Judging from the commercials, this show is nothing more than the Tonight Show lite with all his old bits developed over the years in a variety hour every night. Who the hell likes Leno enough to give up watching programming on the other networks?

Overall: AVOID. Normally I would say that this one would be cancelled by January but the reason they green lit this show was to save money.

MONDAYS
Premieres Sept 21 CBS
Accidentally on Purpose: the incredibly irritating Jenna Elfman returns to TV in this total remake of that awful movie Knocked Up. Premise- Elfman a ditsy blond columnist breaks up with her boss Grant Show (Jake from Melrose) goes on a bender, ends up in bed with a younger guy and (wait for it) gets knocked up. Ashley Jensen (who jumped that sinking ship Ugly Betty) plays Elfman's supportive BFF and Jon Foster (Ben's little brother) is the guy who knocks her up.

Overall: AVOID. Unless you loved knocked up there is no reason to punish yourself with this garbage.

Premieres Sept 28th NBC
Trauma: just because a show is filmed in SF doesn't make it must see TV no matter how much I love watching shows filmed there. Yet again another ER inspired show attempting to fill the void. Whereas Mercy plays the emotional card, Trauma uses the action card to draw in the viewer. Once again I must reiterate if NBC wanted a medical drama on the air why didn't they just keep ER around?

Overall: avoid. Seriously 2 ER rip-offs on the same network, debuting at the same time .. enough already.

TUESDAYS
Premiere Sept 8th CW
Melrose Place: Seriously? Word is that after the pilot was re-worked (Sydney who died in the original show but miraculously returned to life- was to die again- but now she doesn't) this remake is supposedly entertaining; I'll be the judge of that! Still with daytime hottie Colin Egglesfield (AMC look for his rising star blog entry soon), newcomer Shaun Sipos as Sydney's boy toy, Katie Cassidy (David's kid) as the lesbian and the hideous Ashley Simpson as the struggling actress as residents things could be more interesting than the vile 90210. I'll be checking the show out for at least 3 episodes.. it has to be better than 90210..right? Crossing over from the aforementioned Beverly Hills is teacher Ryan who moves into the building AND keeps his job teaching at West Beverly High. Other former denizens making a return include series regular Dr. Michael Mancini(not shocking) as the father of character David Breck (sipos) which is odd since this is not the name of his son with Taylor. Sydney's big sis Jane returns but is she still married to Michael? Consummate victim Jo is back (is her kid with drug dealer Reed one of the new residents?) and bad boy Jake might make an appearance. No word yet if Amanda will return but that would not surprise me, what else does Heather Locklear have going on?

Overall: mixed bag. I didn't think 90210 would live through a full season and yet it still is on the schedule, but a remake of Melrose almost seems sacrilegious. Still paired with the other remake it could draw an audience.

Premieres Sept 22nd CBS
NCIS Los Angeles: Does anyone watch NCIS to begin with? Well according to the ratings someone over 50 in the Midwest obviously does and this hipper attempt hopes to draw a younger audience in. Throwing LL Cool J with Chris O'Donnell however seems like a match made in awkward. With LL Cool J's acting career consisting of Deep Blue Sea and Chris O'Donnell's career comatose since Batman and Robin this one seems doomed from the starting point.

Overall: mixed bag. Could anyone imagine the Mentalist being CBS's number one show last year?

Premieres Nov 3rd ABC
V: yes a remake of the 80's NBC miniseries/series about the lizardy aliens who have come to earth to harvest humans for food. Elizabeth Mitchell (Juliet LOST) leads the cast as the FBI agent who thinks that the aliens are too good to be true. Other familiar faces include Joel Gretsch (4400), Laura Vandervoort (Smallville's supergirl) and the return of Scott Wolf (Party of 5) as the TV reporter who uncovers the slimy truth. I can't lie I'm excited about this one, the first two miniseries (especially the original one) were awesome! Rumor has it that the show is serious about bringing back original stars Faye Grant (Dr. Juliet), Marc Singer (Mike Donovan) and the lizard queen herself Jane Badler (Diana) for this incarnation.

Overall: could work. Thankfully TV special effects have reached movie levels so audiences should be thrilled, however the original series only made it work for one season.

The Rub- On Aug 26 after having only shot 6 episodes, the show has shut down production for a two week hiatus for re-tooling. Not Good.

WEDNESDAYS
Premieres Sept 16th CW
The Beautiful Life: a show about models and how the business can be so evil sounds exciting doesn't it? With Ashton Kutcher (of all people) pulling the strings here it's sure to be a failure. C'mon how many times before have we had to deal with this premise (Paper Dolls, Models Inc) and they always fail. Mischa Barton (OC) returns to television with this desperate attempt at a career resurection, Elle McPherson is the evil agent (ugghh), Ed Quinn (True Blood's Stan) just signed on and the rest of the cast really aren't worth mentioning.

Overall: AVOID. Unless your a tween there is absolutely nothing of value here. I predict cancellation sooner than later.

Premieres Sept 23rd NBC
Mercy: the first of NBC's attempts to ressurect the magic of ER (which hasn't been off a year yet). Even with indie film favorite Guillermo Diaz and Michelle Trachtenberg (who apparently has jumped ship from Gossip Girl?) as the screw up nurse in training, this one looks to be a pile of crap.

Overall: AVOID. Seriously is it really time for another ER?

Premieres Sept 23rd ABC
Cougar Town: Can you figure the premise from the title? Courtney Cox returns to TV (again) as the she-beast searching for young meat. Busy Phillips (Dawsons Creek) comes along for the ride as her BFF who (hopefully) has shred some of that pregnancy weight she carried around during her brief stint on last years failed Terminator Chronicles.

Overall: All of the friends post series attempts have been utter failures why would this one be any different? Although Cox is the most talented of that lot she can't seem to hang on to a good show to save her career; seriously what happend to FX's Dirt that was a decent show?

Premieres Sept 23rd ABC
Eastwick: SERIOUSLY .. 22 years after the movies release, a second series based on the movie hits television? Talk about desperation for programming. No matter how many b-list actresses you load up in this one: Rebecca Romijn (obviously not returning to the floundering Ugly Betty), Lindsay Price (Beverly Hills 90210,Lipstick Jungle), Sara Rue (Popular, Less than Perfect),Veronica Cartwright (from the original movie but is not reprising her role) you can't make magic from a dated concept that will not feature Jack Nicholson.

Overall: AVOID. No further commentary is required.

THURSDAYS
Premiere Sept 10th CW
The Vampire Diaries: Someone (Kevin Williamson actually) figured how to get a twilight rip-off on the air albeit a little late to the party. Still with the lagging ratings on the WB err CW, the network needs some leverage to save themsleves from collapse. The good- Ian Somerhalder (LOST's Boone) returns to TV as evil vamp brother Damon. The unknown- Paul Wesley who's bounced around on a few too many shows (Everwood, American Dreams, 24) and Nina Dobrev (Elena) from Degrassi:The Next Gen may not be ready for primetime. The Bad- the entire premise of the show with vamp Stefan (Wesley) a civil war soldier purposely attending highschool to be near his girl crush Elena. Since Smallville has moved out to make room for this one I'll be checking it out, paired with Supernatural makes it a lot more palatable.

Overall: mixed bag. I love me some vampires but this one seems a little to contrived, if it moves away from the wretched Twilight notion I might become a fan.

Premiere Sept 17th NBC
Community: from the previews this one actually looks funny and fits in well with the shows on thursday night; its got to be better than Amy Poehler's trainwreck from last year. The soup's Joel McHale headlines the show as a disbarred lawyer who enrolls in a community college to earn a degree.

Overall: mixed bag. Any show featuring Chevy Chase should be heeded with caution.

Premieres Sept 24th ABC
Flash Forward: poised to be Lost's replacement the show looks like it could be strong right out of the gate for a season and then fall to pieces in subsequent years. Leading the cast is brit Joseph Fiennes (who has been MIA from acting for years), John Cho (Harold sans Kumar, new Trek's Sulu), brit import Jack Davenport (Coupling), Sonya Welger (Desmond's Penny from LOST), and Dominic Monaghan (yet another cast off from LOST). The premise: the entire world mysteriously blacks out for 2 1/2 minutes and its up to these people to figure out what happened. With David Goyer (Dark Knight) and Brannon Braga (Star Trek TNG) producing, the show has a chance of catching on with sci fi fans much better than last years debaucle The Nine (which used the same LOST mystery scenario to launch the show). Although, I seem to recall that this mystery of passing out for a short amount of time was done before in the Village of the Damned, could this be the same premise here?

Overall: could work. Audiences have become fickle, its hard to tell what will hit and what will miss nowadays.

FRIDAYS
Premieres Oct 2nd Sci Fi Channel
Stargate Universe: first of all I refuse to refer to this network as SyFy, seriously one of the stupidest name rebranding's ever (well the The Nashville Network turning into Spike was dumber but that didn't retain the same pronunciation)!! Anyway, the BSG void on fridays is looking to be filled by the third incarnation of the popular Stargate series but this time with a very familiar twist: fugitives from a military base escape an alien attack by going through a stargate, end up on an aging ship and search for a way home while using the stargate to forge for supplies. Robert Carlyle (trainspotting) and Lou Diamond Phillips (the 80's) headline the cast.

Overall: could work. With BSG a distant memory fans will likely embrace this one.

Premieres Oct 23rd USA
White Collar: after several secondary roles on two other shows (Traveler and Chuck) Matthew Bomer finally lands his own series as a con artist who breaks out of jail and strikes a deal with the FBI to track down other criminals. The show also features Tim Dekay (Jonesy from Carnivale) as the FBI agent working with Bomer, Diahann Carroll (Dominique from Dynasty) and yet another return to TV from Tiffani (sans Amber) Thiessen (90210).

Overall: could work. With hot and sexy Bomer in his first leading role and with the show being on USA this one should take off.

On the horizon ..

Premieres Jan 22nd Sci Fi Channel
Caprica: a year and a half wait for the prequel series does not bode well for this one, though with an ever evolving cast on the show including some of the cylon models from the original series this one might take off.

Overall: mixed bag. Does absence make the heart grow fonder?

Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince: a review

2009-07-15T22:30:00.025-04:00

Eight years and six films later the latest installment in the Harry Potter franchise has finally arrived and suffice to say David Yates dark teen angst filled world in Half Blood Prince bears little resemblance (other than actors) to the childish fairy tale Chris Columbus brought forth in 2001's Sorcerer Stone. Since most people have followed the story through J.K. Rowling's novels what I divulge in this review will be little (if any) spoilage for those who will see it. From the beginning of the movie director Yates like he did in Order of the Phoenix, diverges away from the novel by creating a new opening scene with the Death Eaters attacking London that fuses the "real world" with the wizarding one. It should also be noted that the first 15 minutes of the movie were filmed specifically for the IMAX 3-D version of the film which will not be released for two more weeks! For a second time in the film franchise, Harry's departure from the Dursley's is once again omitted which is a bit odd for this movie considering that this departure was more significant than all others since Dumbledore came to collect him and warns them that soon the magic protecting them from Voldemort would end. While the Dursley's scenes have never been significant to the plot they are fun to watch, but in the interest of saving time I can see why they are often shortened or axed.

One rewrite later wherein Dumbledore finds Harry having a quick snack in a London tube station its off to find former Hogwarts potions teacher Horace Slughorn (the perfectly cast Jim Broadbent) and convince him to return to the school. After all the chapter shuffling and new material is presented the original beginning from the book occurs that features the debut of Narcissa Malfoy, the return of the deliciously evil Bellatrix LaStrange and Snape. I have to confess that its about time that we see more of Alan Rickman in a Harry Potter movie; as a major character from the books Snape has been reduced recently to superfluous scenes and one liners. One very short scene of how Harry spent the summer at Ron's and an oddly omitted return of Fleur Delacour as Bill Weasley's fiancee, its off to Diagon Alley where Fred and George's new business venture is grandly brought to life.

Finally its off on the Hogwarts Express where many of the usual suspects from the past 5 years make an appearance including newest member "Looney Luna" who accidently discovers a petrified Harry on the train while wearing 3-D glasses (in essence when she takes off the 3-D glasses the 3D ends). As the film progresses using the cliche film montage to cover substantial pages of source material, it is evident that the dark themes established in Alfonso Cuaron's transitional movie Prisoner of Azkaban are reaching new dramatic heights transgressing the line seperating a Harry Potter movie from a Lord of the Rings epic. While the film does often tread heavy in the darkness, Yates manages to lighten the mood with teen angst moments (mostly Ron's stalker Lavender) and blossoming romances (Harry and Ginny) that had the audience (including me) giggling. With a limited running time of 2 1/2 hrs (the problem with every movie since Goblet of Fire) concurrent plot lines from the book were discarded to save time, however all the essential plot twists from HBP are featured in this movie including some big scenes at the end of the film featuring Dumbledore and Harry's quest for one of Voldemort's horcruxes. Oddly enough as the film progressed Dumbledore (particularly in his appearance) began evolving into a Gandolf caricature, culminating into his final showdown atop Hogwarts with Malfoy which rivaled Gandolf the Grey's departure from middle earth. Although we all knew what was coming at the end, when it actually happened the audiences shock was palpable; literally people were chattering throughout the movie but in the last 10 minutes all I could hear was sniffling.

I have read that this is considered to be the best Potter yet, I disagree. While the special effects, acting talent and thematic elements were top notch I still think Goblet of Fire is the best film to date. Don't get me wrong this was a great film but for me it felt like another transitional story like Prisoner of Azkaban was that sets up events which lead to a better film the two part epic Deathly Hallows debuting Thanksgiving 2010 and summer 2011. From what I can gather the 5 1/2 hour Hallows is expected to completely cover the book from beginning to end and will bring back every accessory character (and actor) ever introduced since the Sorcerers Stone. All in all fans will be exceptionally delighted with this entry and as a fan of the series I highly recommend checking it out and see it again in IMAX 3D.

New Blood

2009-06-12T14:35:00.013-04:00

As if there were not enough eye candy already on True Blood , season two will up the hottie quotient with the appearance of several new minor characters and the debut of major characters that will play a role in the further adventures of Sookie Stackhouse for years to come. Additionally, several fan favorites from season one will be making a ghostly return including "gran" and Lafayette who seems to be caught in limbo after suffering a grisly demise in the season finale.

New:
Godric (Allan Hyde): a 2000 year old teenage vampire who is a renegade amongst his kind. Fans of Living Dead in Dallas will recall that Godric was an outcast because he molested children and volunteered himself as a sacrifice to the Fellowship of The Sun believing that through this act he could atone for his sins. On True Blood, Godric has been remade as the nest leader of a large group of vampires in Dallas, sheriff of the region and in a surprise twist is Eric's maker(?). Not really sure how I feel about this change of character since the scene between he and sookie at sunrise was a significant event in her life.

Stan (Ed Quinn): a major future character from the books has now been placed in an odd situation with his role being refocused onto Godric. In the books Stan is the leader in Dallas and is portrayed as a young, thin, well dressed man in glasses who gives sookie the impression that he is pretending to be a geek. In what I consider to be the biggest miscast on the show yet, Quinn (Nathan from Eureka) takes on the role as a big burly urban cowboy with a chip on his shoulder towards humans; completely the opposite of Stan's description. Based on Charlaine Harris's description of Alcide (the next supernatural man in Sookie's life) I believe that Quinn would have been an ideal choice to play that character.

Sophie (Evan Rachel Wood): based on her description in the books I think that Wood is a perfect choice to play the vampire queen of Louisiana (considering that she lives with one in real life boyfriend Marilyn Manson). Those who have not followed the books will learn that it was through Sophie's relationship with Hadley that she learned of her cousin Sookie's ability and ordered Bill to Bon Temps to seduce her. Expect to see a lot more of her in the future as she will figure into new threats on Sookie's strange life.

"Eggs" (Mehcad Brooks): Tara's new squeeze, who uses his influence over her to help further Maryann's twisted agenda.

Daphne (Ashley Jones): the new clumsy waitress at Merlotte's arrives on the scene and immediately attracts Sam's attention . It seems that Daphne is harboring a supernatural secret which will soon be revealed.

Hugo (Christopher Gartin): the lawyer for the Dallas vampires and Isabelle's human squeeze that ends up imprisoned with Sookie and betraying the vampires to the Fellowship of the Sun.

Shawnelle (Betsy Rue): the new barfly in town that attempts to seduce Hoyt and Jason.

Luke (Wes Brown): a religious fanatic who becomes Jason's main rival for the approval of Steve Newlin when he arrives in Dallas at church camp. Expect too see some skin as the boys like to mess around in their tightie whities.

Dirk (Preston Jones): more eye candy from church camp. Should have been in cast in the role of Stan since he matches the description from Living Dead in Dallas perfectly!

Rich (Timothy Eulich): Eric's would be assassin.

What's on in Summer '09

2009-05-30T12:24:00.009-04:00

Remember when the summer was the worst time of the year for television (nothing but repeats), well the times they are a changing in more ways than one as non HDTV's go dark when the digital switch occurs this June and the networks are offering more options than ever. How odd it is that summer has become its own season for catching new series and this year promises to be the biggest to date do in part to a faltering economy that has forced people to cancel vacation plans and stay at home, at least we will be entertained. Here's a rundown of what you can expect to find on the new digital platform in the coming months.

ABC
With the network's heavy reliance on cheesy Japanese reality competitions and their beating a dead horse with the Bachelorette, there is really only one reason to watch anything on ABC this summer and that is to see the final episodes of 3 shows that suffered early deaths. While Eli Stone never really caught on with audiences (except Tom Cruise) it is unfortunate to see two shows that debuted with a bang go out with a whimper. Thanks to the writers strike of 2008 Daisies and DSM never had a chance for recovery after their freshman seasons came to an abrupt halt halfway through. At least the network lived up to their promise by giving the fans some closure.

RETURNING
The finales are airing on Saturday nights at 10pm.

Pushing Daisies (May 30 - Jun 13)

Eli Stone (Jun 20 - Jul 11)

Dirty Sexy Money (Jul 18 - Aug 8)

NBC
NEW
The Listener (Jun). This drama follows the adventures of a telepathic paramedic Toby Logan (newcomer Craig Olejnik) as he races across Toronto saving people and reading minds.

I'm a Celebrity get me out of here (Jun). Based on a long running BBC series this one is my pick for the summers biggest train wreck with Janice Dickinson, Stephen Baldwin, and Sanjaya can you see why?

The Philanthropist (Jun). James Purefoy (Mark Antony from HBO's Rome) stars in this action drama as a vigilante billionaire who helps people, think Batman without the villains and costumes. The series also marks the return of Neve Campbell to TV.

RETURNING
Kings (Jun). The doomed series returns to run out its final episodes.

MINISERIES
Meteor (Jun). Pretty self explanatory: meteor spiraling toward Earth, doomsday, yadda yadda.

Merlin (Jun). A 13 episode series following the life of the mythical wizard of Camelot.

The Storm (Jul). Mad scientist creates a weather machine that wrecks havoc on the planet; our planets savior is none other than Van der Beek from the Creek (we're doomed).

CBS
RETURNING
Big Brother 11 (Jul). Does anyone watch this crap? At least its an inexpensive way for the network to fill in their schedule and the scantily clad hotties are worth occasionally checking out.

FOX
NEW
Mental (Jun). Yet another medical drama set in LA with a shrink who uses unconditional therapies to treat people.

RETURNING
Hells Kitchen (Jul). Just when one season ends another begins, this staple in FOX's catalog has worn thin with me and I was going to swear off the show next fall but with it debuting during the thin pickings of the summer I'll be tuning in.

Cable
NEW
USA- Royal Pains (Jul). Cutie pie Mark Feuerstein returns to TV as a doctor doing house calls in the Hampton's.

Bravo- Real Housewives of NJ (NOW). The soprano women continue to bring the high drama, tacky nails and big hair for the summer.

Bravo- NYC Prep (Jun). The real gossip girl.

Bravo- Top Chef Masters (Jun). Real chefs cooking for a big prize.

Sci Fi- Warehouse 13 (Jul). Take one part Friday the 13th: the series, mix with two parts of the X-Files and add a dash of Eureka and you get the plot of this series.

RETURNING

USA- Burn Notice (Jun). Now that Michael has burned the organization what's next?

A&E- Intervention (NOW). Judging from the previews this season looks to be even more depressing than past season. If you think your life sucks I advise you to watch an episode of this show to get some perspective.

AMC- Mad Men (Jul). The gorgeous Jon Hamm and the rest return for a third season of boozing, smoking and sexual harassment escapades.

Sci Fi- Eureka (Jul). Colin Ferguson returns for another season of the quirky sci fi series.

Premium Cable
NEW
SHO- Nurse Jackie (Jun). Edie Falco returns as a pill popping ER doc (sounds like House with swearing).

RETURNING
SHO- Weeds (Jun). Now that Nancy has turned against the Mexican drug cartel how will she survive, how about a pregnancy that may or may not be real.

HBO- True Blood (Jun). Season two kicks off with Jason heading to Dallas to join the Fellowship, the Maenad attacking Sookie and the hope that Eric (with short hair .. yuck) will be sporting pink spandex for the Maryann's orgy.

HBO- Entourage (Jul). Now that Aquaman has wrapped what's next?

Star Trek: a review

2009-05-18T17:19:00.071-04:00

Warp Speed Ahead.

The final frontier returns with a vengeance as Star Trek 2009 has done what I thought was impossible to do breathe new life into what could be considered a dead franchise. JJ Abrams (Alias, Lost) vision of the Federation, Starfleet and the Enterprise brings a fresh concept to a new audience and at the same time maintains a status quo of the characters that fans of the story have come to expect. The updates to the ship blend elements from the series Enterprise and Battlestar Galactica to make it look and feel more realistic (for fantasy), flashier and pretty damn cool. For all intents and purposes here Trek 11 is a prequel exploring the genesis of the beloved characters that Gene Rodenberry introduced to audiences some 40 years ago. Unfortunately for some fans this nostalgic journey comes at a high price as the Enterprise and its crew (we soon learn) are living in an alternate reality courtesy of a certain 130 year old vulcan who has accidentally disrupted the space time continuum (will they ever learn?). With a cast of (lets face it) virtual newcomers to a mainstream movie audience, Abrams film dares to boldly go where no other Trek has gone before by appealing to everyone. Unless you are a die hard trekker / trekkie (whatever the hell they call themselves now) there is little reason to hate on this movie other than that it does not appeal to their unhealthy obsession. So rather than dwell on the plot itself which has been discussed at great lengths on many other sites I have decided to discuss the actors, characters and memorable moments that made this movie so much fun to watch.

The film begins with the fateful birth of James Tiberius Kirk and how his father's 15 minute heroic command of the doomed USS Kelvin would end up shaping Kirk's life in an entirely different way. Contrary to my "in depth" knowledge of the subject matter (meaning I don't consider myself a trekkie) I was unaware that Kirk's life had unfolded any other way. It wasn't until Spock Prime explained to young Kirk that this was not how history was to unfold did I understand that things had changed there. Sexy newcomer Chris Hemsworth steps into the role of George Kirk surprising me that yet again another actor from that dreadful aussie soap Home & Away is about to take America by storm. Famous alum from that show include: Simon Baker, Heath Ledger, Naomi Watts, Guy Pearce, Ryan Kwanten (True Blood), and Julian Mcmahon (Nip/Tuck). Expect to see a lot more of Chris in the next year since he has landed the role of Jed (Patrick Swayze's character) in the remake of Red Dawn and the norse god himself in Marvel's next avenger movie THOR.

Flash forward 10 years into the future where we soon discover that Kirk and Spock have troubled childhood's which ultimately would define their character in the future. We learn that Kirk is a juvenile delinquent townie in shit hole Iowa that likes to steal cars, pick fights and cruise for babes rather than live up to his full potential. Spock on the other hand is a disobedient half breed outcast who is unable to effectively control his emotions; something that is highly illogical. Relative newcomers Chris Pine (Smokin Aces) and Zachary Quinto (Heroes) bring a refreshing new take on Kirk and Spock while at the same time manage to weirdly channel many of the physical characteristics of their predecessors. Chris Pine is great in his first leading role, his sharp wit and uber white boy sex appeal are put to good use. As for Quinto, while it did take me awhile to get used to the idea of him playing Spock I realized after the second viewing of the movie that he works well in the role. The cold, calculating stoicism he has refined after 3 years of playing nefarious Sylar on Heroes has worked in his favor. Who could have imagined that Tori Spelling's gay BFF Sasan (So Notorious) five years ago on TV would be on the big screen playing such an iconic character.

I must confess however that neither one of them were my favorite characters in the movie as both Karl Urban and Zoe Saldana managed to steal the show. After almost a decade of supporting roles in fantasy tv (Caesar on Hercules and Xena) and forgettable films (Doom, The Chronicles of Riddick and Pathfinder) Karl Urban has found his footing as the wise cracking chief medical officer Leonard "Bones" McCoy. From his first appearance to his final scene I literally giggled every time he was on screen. Newcomer Zoe Saldana was awesome as fan favorite communications officer Nyota Uhura (yes she actually has a first name). It was fun watching the ultimate womanizer Kirk chase after her and striking out every time which would make their forced kiss in later years all the more meaningful (to him at least). In a surprising move it is revealed that Uhura and Spock during their time at Starfleet were an item, which makes for an interesting love triangle in a future movie since we all know how Nurse Chapel (mentioned but not seen in this movie) lusts for Spock.

Supporting cast include Bruce Greenwood as Kirks predecessor Captain Christopher Pike, who in this alternate reality still manages to end up in a wheel chair (albeit less damaged than he was in the other timeline). British indie film favorite Simon Pegg (Shawn of the Dead) is of course Scotty who has some vintage Mr Scott scenes in this movie. John Cho (Harold sans Kumar) is Sulu and frankly was the weakest character of the bunch. Lastly the most irritating character in the movie was Anton Yelchin (Charlie Bartlett) as Chekov. Yelchin's russian dialect was so over the top obnoxious that it distracted the flow of the film. The film would have been better served if the character had been omitted particularly since he was not a part of the original enterprise crew (he didn't show up until season 2); then again we are viewing that evil alternate timeline! You can expect to see Yelchin this week in Terminator Salvation playing John Connor's (Bale) best friend / future father paradox Kyle Reese.

Other notable's in the film are Leonard Nimoy as Spock Prime (his designation in the credits) who fits perfectly well in the movie (hey he's a vulcan they age slower) by uniting both of the Trek universe worlds and an unrecognizable Eric Bana (Munich, Incredible Hulk) as the Romulan leader Nero ( I didn't even know he was in this movie until I started researching for this review). Rounding out the cast are Ben Cross doing a great job (for the timeless Mark Lenard) as Spocks father Sarek and Winona Ryder (why is she in this movie?) as Spocks mother Amanda. Out of all the talent in this movie, no one is more out of place than Winona. Her aged makeup job reminded me of her aged character in Edward Scissorhands even the voice modulation that she used sounded the same, totally lame. Interesting plot twist here now that Spock's mother has died, who will convince him to save Sarek's life (Ep39: Journey to Babel)? Then again Vulcan was still a planet in the other reality so all bets are off now.

EASTER EGGS:
The Enterprise computer is voiced once again by Majel Barrett Roddenberry.

Tyler Perry (of Madea infamy) was the starfleet admiral who put Kirk on "trial" for cheating on the Kobeashi Mareau exam (featured in Wrath of Khan). Interesting tidbit to learn that spock was the creator of the un- winable scenario.

Amanda Foreman (Felicity's roommate Meghan) was a crewman on the bridge.

Greg Grunberg (Felicity, Heroes) is the voice heard yelling out of the phone at young Kirk in the stolen car. Bromance much?

When Scotty is first seen he is holding a tribble and you can hear it purring.

Admiral Jonathan Archer (captain of the original Enterprise) is mentioned by Scotty as the reason for his exile to the ice planet since Scotty beamed his beagle into obscurity.

Admittedly the movie was a cheat by changing the reality that the Trek characters now live in, but c'mon didn't Tasha Yar do they same thing on TNG when she went back in time? Her evil romulan doppelganger spawn even tried to take out the Enterprise! The new time line opens up the door for a whole new series of events to take place in future films (perhaps TV) including any of the material from the original series (a younger Khan?) on the big screen as well as the potential to see the starfleet adventures of the TNG crew. Although the summer movie season has just begun, I have to say that this may be my favorite film for 2009. In my personal rankings of Trek flicks it has officially moved to the number one spot.

1- Trek 2009
2- Trek 2: Wrath of Khan
3- Trek 4: The voyage Home (I can't help it I love the damn whale one)
4- Trek 8: First Contact
5- Trek 6: Undiscovered Country

Lastly for those who did not know (like me),the original ending of the movie was to feature William Shatner. Thankfully I'm glad the scene was never shot (mostly because of his bitching at Abrams) since it sounded too contrived. The scene was to take place when the Spock's met each other. Young Spock did not believe that he and Kirk could possibly be as close as Old Spock claimed, to which the elder version handed him a hologram message from the elder Kirk. The speech was to play over the closing moments of the film adding that sentimentality that Spock's speech actually does quite well in the released version.

X-Men Origins Wolverine: a Review

2009-05-05T17:10:00.009-04:00

Don't believe the hype; according to "film critics" Wolverine is considered to be the best X-Men film to date, to that I cry FOUL. X2 was by far the best X-Men film ever made although Wolverine does come in a close second. In case you are unfamiliar with Wolverine's back story the movie does a great job at fleshing out the overly hyped X-man. From his childhood in the late 17th century through the decades the film follows (somewhat) the material presented in countless pages of comics about him and effectively bridges the gap of the events leading up to the revelations in the first two X films. Hugh Jackman once again recaptures the character he created on screen in all his glory and showcases his perfectly sculpted body for all to admire on the big screen; I have to confess that I don't think I have ever seen him in better shape. If there was a character flaw to Wolverines portrayal this time around it was the insistence by the writers to make him howl cheesily in several parts of the movie and although Wolverine does this in in the comics it didn't translate well on the big screen.

His lifelong nemesis Sabretooth is sharply portrayed by Liev Schreiber who fleshes out the grunting mess that was so flaccidly portrayed by Tyler Mane in the original X-Men. Other front page X-Universe characters making their debut included the Blob (whose code name is the product of a mistaken "bub" that Logan calls him ), Ryan Reynolds (looking really hot in that wife beater) as the sword wielding smart ass Deadpool and fan favorite Gambit portrayed by Taylor Kitsch who has essentially set the stage for Gambit's own origins film with Taylor playing the younger version to Josh Holloway's (LOST's Sawyer) older version.

At almost 2 hours running time the film occasionally suffers pacing issues but resolves them in short order with a battle scene. The movie was filmed in New Zealand and showcases some fantastic location shots. Special effects were above average and although the helicopter scene looked really cheap, the final battle atop the reactor was pretty damn cool. Other mutants making their big screen debut's included Emma Frost, Bolt, Agent Zero (loosely based on maverick in the comics), Young Cyclops, Quicksilver, Weapon XI (a frankensteined version of Deadpool who reminded more of Sylar than his comic book alter ego) and several other characters that I couldn't quite figure out.

There are several easter eggs in the movie including a surprise (and uncredited) cameo from Patrick Stewart/Professor Xavier who rescues the trapped children, the resolution to Stryker's death march and (if you waited till the end of the credits) two separate endings. The final ending that I viewed was Deadpool's resurrection from the rubble at the nuclear reactor where he reattaches his severed head and regains his mouth. The other version shows Wolverine drinking in a bar in Japan which eludes to a potential sequel covering the time he spent becoming a samurai warrior.

Overall I would definitely recommend the movie: action, special effects, hot guys and a nice jump start to a summer at the movies.

Summer 2009 at the movies

2009-04-29T14:32:00.011-04:00

Assuming that we will not be under quarantine by this summer here are my picks for the summer 2009 movies to check out. Can anyone explain to me why distributors don't want us to embed these trailers in our blogs? I can't think of a better free way to promote their products!

May 1st
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
No one is more irritated than me that the summer movie season has now been pushed up from memorial day to the first week in May .. WTF? With the X-Men franchise seemingly dead I must confess that this is one of the films I am looking most forward to. While I never have considered Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) to be my draw for X-Men films he is the best character to have spun the franchise off on. This prequel will fill in the blanks to those of us who stopped following the comics decades ago and give us hope that the X-Men will continue on the big screen for years to come. X-universe characters making their debut include Gambit (Friday Night Lights Taylor Kitsch), Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds),The Blob, Emma Frost, Bolt, Weapon X, and Agent Zero.

Overall: Fanboys/girls will be lining up to see this one even though it will only enjoy first place for a week.

May 8th
Star Trek
Its been 7 years since Trekkies have had their fix and the wait is finally over with a prequel that looks to reboot the Star Trek for years to come. With a fresh young cast (although Sylar as Spock leaves alot to be desired), spectacular new visual effects, and a retelling of history (which will piss Trekkie purists off) Trek #11 or is this #12 has set the bar high for success or failure of the franchise. Sadly I think that JJ Abrams future is on the line with this one since his TV shows are on the decline and his big screen entries have received a lukewarm reception.

Overall: I am worried that the movie could flop since (as Gary pointed out) all the best scenes may have been shown in the trailers already leaving little substance for the movie to convey. Having been burned already this year with a similar situation in Watchmen I am leery of the movie, but will be there opening weekend. Too soon to call on how the movie will fare.

May 15th
Angels and Demons
I'm not sure why I am endorsing this one since the Da Vinci Code made a better book than movie and Tom Hanks is completely wrong as Robert Langdon, but this prequel to the aforementioned Code was a superior novel that will hopefully translate into a more exciting film. With the addition of Ewan McGregor and Stellan Skarsgard we can only pray that this movie has more life to it.

Overall: mixed bag on this one, as mentioned the book was great except for the part where Langdon falls from a helicopter and survives. The movie will probably do very well since it is geared toward an older audience who has few options at the movies this year.

May 22nd
Terminator Salvation (Terminator 4)
Christian Bale plays the third incarnation of John Connor in this sequel which essentially eradicates all of the premise set up in Terminator 3. It is unknown how closely the plot line will follow the Sarah Connor Chronicles although the discovery of machines that help humans has already been leaked in a trailer.

Overall: I think fans of the previous franchise will be pleased to see the story continue in the future even if the history has been altered to entertain a new generation.

Night at the Museum 2
Was a sequel to this awful movie necessary? Ben Stiller's 15 minutes was used up years ago after the wretched Zoolander hit theaters and his sorry excuse to keep his bromance with Owen Wilson (what is this like the 10th film they have done together?) fresh is a shitty excuse to make another shitty movie.

Overall: avoid, this movie is strictly pandering to parents with kids at home for the summer.

June 5th
Land of the Lost
Will Farrell yucks it up in what could be the sleeper hit or biggest bomb of the summer. Another film that is going to be hard to gauge since it appeals to the Gen X crowd's nostalgic memories of Sleestaks, Rubber Dino's and the beloved bigfoot/caveman Chaka. Still Will Ferrell's loyal following could send this one to a 100 mil weekend.

Overall: mixed bag, I'll be there but how many others will follow?

June 12th
Dead Snow
Indie flick and Sundance winner, involving a group of people under attack by (of all things) nazi zombies out in the woods.

Overall: limited release will quash this one, but it sounds like it could be fun.

June 26th
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
One would think that I would be jumping up and down endorsing this film,unfortunately that is not the case since Transformers was so fucking bad. Shia Labeouf needs to break away from Spielbergs control and start taking on different roles before he becomes a has been.

Overall: Bigger effects and more robots in disguise may not necessarily lead to box office success. Being a glutton for punishment I will stumble into the movie at some point, the visual effects alone are worth the price of a bargain matinee.

July 3rd
Public Enemies
A fictionalized account of 30's gangster John Dillinger sounds absolutely dull even if Johnny Depp is playing him. Judging by the preview the film looks to be a snooze fest on many levels, even Christian Bale as Depp's nemesis isn't enough to get me into see this one.

Overall: limited appeal to fans of both actors.

Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Yet another in the series of these CGI crap movies going 3-D in an attempt to extort more money from parents.

Overall: you're a parent do you think you have a choice?

July 10th
Bruno
The followup to Borat .. too little too late?

Overall: likely will offend the gay community as yet another straight guy attempts to cliche the hell out of us.

July 15th
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
8 months after its original release date of Thanksgiving 2008, Potter 6 FINALLY arrives on the big screen. If you have read the books you know how this one will end so make sure you bring Kleenex. If you are lucky enough to live next to an IMAX theater pony up the extra 6 bucks as the final battle has been shot in 3-D; The Order of the Phoenix in IMAX 3-D was amazing.

Overall: could be the biggest film of the summer since it marks the beginning of the end for the decade long series.

August 7th
GI JOE: Rise of Cobra
Channing Tatum is absolutely awful as an actor, but his hot body is definitely worth taking a look at on the big screen.

Overall: this one has a limited audience appeal, however slicking it up to look like Missionary Impossible on steroids might translate into box office success particularly since it has no competition in August.

Trailer here:
www.firstshowing.net/2009/01/31/must-watch-full-gi-joe-rise-of-cobra-super-bowl-tv-spot/

August 14th
Final Destination:Death Trip
The 3-D cash cow marches on in this fourth installment of the surprisingly popular and inventive Final Destination series.

Overall: I am fan of the series but will wait for DVD to see it.

August 28th
H2: Halloween
The followup to Rob Zombies great remake as super killer Michael Myers continues his bloody carnage at the hospital.

Overall: The Halloween remake was pretty damn cool, but I don't see a need to see the sequel at the movies.

Trailer here:
www.firstshowing.net/2009/04/24/must-watch-first-full-trailer-for-rob-zombies-h2/

September 4th
Citizen Game
Gerard Butler stars in this futuristic thriller along with Heroes Milo Ventimiglia wherein teams of gamers, control people who have become live action characters in video games.

Overall: odd premise that sounds kind of interesting. With my beloved Gerard Butler in it I will probably be checking it out.

Pandorum
Cam Gigandent (Twilight) and Ben foster (X-Men's 3 Angel) star in a space movie akin to summer flops of past like Event Horizon or Red Planet.

Overall: Can you think of a better way to spend labor day than watching two hotties in space?

September 25th
Fame
Okay this late in the game doesn't count as a summer movie, but a remake of this campy classic deserves a mention particularly with the cast including Lillith and Frasier (Kelsey Grammer/ Bebe Neuwirth), Megan Mullally and Debbie Allen from the original movie and series.

Overall: looks and sounds as horrible as it will probably be, the bigger question is why are there no cameos from any other original cast members like Irene Cara?