July 1stTransformers 3: Dark of the Moon
Considering that I skipped Revenge of the Fallen at the theater what on earth would possess me to see another sequel in this series, the short answer nothing. While the film is Megan Fox-less (which is a good thing), Shia LaBeouf has become a tiresome leading man, the alien robot war story has worn thin and how is it that Josh Duhamel is still involved in Sam's life? On the upside the film will likely be really freakin' cool in 3-D and the main villain is a new bad ass cylon looking transformer named Shockwave.
Overall D. With an admission by Bay that the second movie was a piece of crap and the incredibly talentless Megan Fox is no longer associated with the series, it does have a chance of redeeming itself to a level of entertainment that the original film provided. However I need to see a really good trailer to change my mind.
July 15th
Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows 2
The event 10 years in the making is finally upon us and sadly we have reached the bittersweet conclusion to the longest running continuous film franchise in the history of Hollywood. While it saddens me to see the adventure end, its time, as a decade is far too long for a story to come full circle although next year's Hobbit and subsequent sequel will stretch that limit. I will always question how the series would have played out had the late Richard Harris (the only Dumbledore) had finished the journey; perhaps I might have shed a tear for his characters demise in HBP. Make sure your packing some tissues cause this one is going to be a bloodbath.
Overall A- In the words of Star Trek's Q- "all good things must come to an end".
July 22nd
Captain America: the First Avenger
The Avenger that I had the least amount of interest in arrives with an origin story that is finally done right, by introducing the audience to the character in all his WWII glory instead of the current day resurrection of him post ice tomb. While I'm not thrilled with Chris Evans playing the title character (after all he's already played the Human Torch twice in FF) I'll get over it. Staying true to the characters origin, not only are we getting the transformation of Steve Rogers from dork to stud (via the super soldier formula) but we get a glimpse of Bucky (the lamest sidekick ever), Dum Dum Dugan, Union Jack, and Hugo Weaving (Matrix/LOTR) as the Red Skull.
Overall A-. While the buzz on Green Lantern has picked up interest (thanks to the re-shoots) I believe that Captain America will be the winning superhero movie of the summer. The material (World War 2) appeals to a wider ranged audience, it has a gritty realism about it as Cap is not a mutant (per say) nor does he rely on laser weapons or god-like powers to fight and who can resist Marvel's one and only patriot? Plus have you seen how ridiculously H-O-T Chris Evans looks (see below)?
July 29th
Cowboys and Aliens
A nonsensical clash of ideas based (shockingly) on yet another graphic novel that involves the wild west, aliens, and features one Indiana Jones (Ford) and one James Bond (Craig). The weird part about this film is that Ron Howard and Steven Spielberg are associated with it, but coming off the heals of director Jon Favreau's epic failure of Iron Man 2, I hold little hope that this one will be anything to talk about.
Overall C. Not my cup of tea, but for some reason westerns (I guess maybe even those featuring aliens?) seem to be staging a comeback (see True Grit's final box office).
The Smurfs
A live action version of the little Swiss blue creatures who thanks to Gargamel's (Hank Azaria) cockamamie spell have been transported from smurf land to NYC and into Neil Patrick Harris's life. The voice talents are a cornucopia of talent including Jonathan Winters (isn't he dead?) as Papa Smurf, Katy Perry as Smurfette , Paul 'pee wee' Reubens as Jokey and George Lopez as Grouchy (though wasn't his name Grumpy?).
Overall B. Pure and simple pandering to a nostalgic Gen-X crowd with kids. You're damn right I'm going to see it.
August 5th
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
When compared to the original movies this latest remake would be considered completely out of order in the series. However for all intents and purposes this film is a prequel to Mark Wahlberg's Planet of Apes remake as it shows how the earth fell under the control of apes seen in the final shot of the original movie. The film stars James Franco as the scientist who accidentally creates the mutated Caesar (progenitor of the talking apes) while researching a cure for Alzheimer's and features Andy Serkis (LOTR Gollum), Brian Cox (X-Men 2), Tyler Labine (Reaper's sock) and Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) in his first role post Potter.
August 12th
Final Destination 5
Clearly the final destination was nowhere near the end of this worn out series. Not much to really discuss here other than the same formula playing out over and over again with a new cast of young Hollywood getting not so cleverly killed off and another creepy cameo from Tony Todd (Candyman).
Overall F. Enough with this series, the last good one was part two and ever since then its all been crap. The so called Final Destination stretched the plot to the breaking point and if it were not for that movie being in 3-D that movie would have been unbearable to watch.
August 19th
Fright Night
A remake of the 1980's horror flick that features an eclectic cast of people including David "Dr Who" Tennant taking on Roddy McDowell's character, Colin Farrell as the vampire and Star Trek's Anton Yelchin as Charlie Brewster.
Overall B-. I must confess that I am a bit of a fan of the original movie and while not the best entry in the vampire genre it was fun enough that with this cast my interest has been peaked.
Conan the Barbarian
Can someone explain to me why there is a remake of this 80's cheesefest? I mean for what it was Arnold's version is a camp classic in fantasy films which does not deserve to be upstaged or forgotten by an update. This latest reboot stars Stargate Atlantis/Game of Thrones Jason Mamoa as the barbarian who looks nowhere near as freakishly large as the "governator" and Rose McGowan who I guess is introducing her Red Sonja character in this movie.
Overall D. No thanks.
August 26th
Don't be afraid of the Dark
Well it looks like Tom has opened the lock on her cage as Katie Holmes returns to the big screen along with Guy Pearce in this remake of a 1970's horror yarn about a woman who believes that her inherited mansion is haunted by creatures living in the walls.
Overall C. With Guillermo Del Toro in charge expect his fantastical vision of otherwordly creatures to step to the fore front of this late summer entry.
A live action version of the little Swiss blue creatures who thanks to Gargamel's (Hank Azaria) cockamamie spell have been transported from smurf land to NYC and into Neil Patrick Harris's life. The voice talents are a cornucopia of talent including Jonathan Winters (isn't he dead?) as Papa Smurf, Katy Perry as Smurfette , Paul 'pee wee' Reubens as Jokey and George Lopez as Grouchy (though wasn't his name Grumpy?).
Overall B. Pure and simple pandering to a nostalgic Gen-X crowd with kids. You're damn right I'm going to see it.
August 5th
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
When compared to the original movies this latest remake would be considered completely out of order in the series. However for all intents and purposes this film is a prequel to Mark Wahlberg's Planet of Apes remake as it shows how the earth fell under the control of apes seen in the final shot of the original movie. The film stars James Franco as the scientist who accidentally creates the mutated Caesar (progenitor of the talking apes) while researching a cure for Alzheimer's and features Andy Serkis (LOTR Gollum), Brian Cox (X-Men 2), Tyler Labine (Reaper's sock) and Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) in his first role post Potter.
Overall B-. Based on the super creepy preview trailer, I'm in.
August 12th
Final Destination 5
Clearly the final destination was nowhere near the end of this worn out series. Not much to really discuss here other than the same formula playing out over and over again with a new cast of young Hollywood getting not so cleverly killed off and another creepy cameo from Tony Todd (Candyman).
Overall F. Enough with this series, the last good one was part two and ever since then its all been crap. The so called Final Destination stretched the plot to the breaking point and if it were not for that movie being in 3-D that movie would have been unbearable to watch.
August 19th
Fright Night
A remake of the 1980's horror flick that features an eclectic cast of people including David "Dr Who" Tennant taking on Roddy McDowell's character, Colin Farrell as the vampire and Star Trek's Anton Yelchin as Charlie Brewster.
Overall B-. I must confess that I am a bit of a fan of the original movie and while not the best entry in the vampire genre it was fun enough that with this cast my interest has been peaked.
Conan the Barbarian
Can someone explain to me why there is a remake of this 80's cheesefest? I mean for what it was Arnold's version is a camp classic in fantasy films which does not deserve to be upstaged or forgotten by an update. This latest reboot stars Stargate Atlantis/Game of Thrones Jason Mamoa as the barbarian who looks nowhere near as freakishly large as the "governator" and Rose McGowan who I guess is introducing her Red Sonja character in this movie.
Overall D. No thanks.
August 26th
Don't be afraid of the Dark
Well it looks like Tom has opened the lock on her cage as Katie Holmes returns to the big screen along with Guy Pearce in this remake of a 1970's horror yarn about a woman who believes that her inherited mansion is haunted by creatures living in the walls.
Overall C. With Guillermo Del Toro in charge expect his fantastical vision of otherwordly creatures to step to the fore front of this late summer entry.
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